Sophomore Year Shennanigans
by Sarahaku
Summary: Dave starts a new school year at (yet another) new school. He finally gets to meet his three new friends in person, which is cool. What isn't cool is he's got no control over his crush on his new best friend. And with Bro's problems with work, and his friends being his friends, it's looking like it's going to be a long year. JohnDave, Humanstuck. I don't own Homestuck.
1. Chapter 1-2

Dave Strider stretches his hands over his head, cracking his knuckles loudly as he meanders down the school hallway for the first time. It's his sophomore year, at this new school now that his Bro decided arbitrarily that it was time to move. Whatever. He knows a couple of people here that he met online over the summer, and he looks around now for them. Mostly, though, he's surrounded by hordes of kids that clump together in the hallways, freshmen clinging to each other like they're stuck on an iceberg surrounded by sharks. He pushes his messy bangs out of his eyes with a quick sweep, pushing his sunglasses up on his nose with his middle finger, whistling. He leans forward and looks down a hallway, trying to determine if it's the way he's supposed to be going.

"Hey! Dave!" A voice calls. "Hey, guys, look it's Dave!" He turns around. A short, scrawny kid in khaki shorts and a white tee-shirt was walking over to him, followed by a tall, unruly looking boy and a grinning girl who was wearing red sunglasses. He raises up his hand in a lazy wave.

"Sup, guys," he say. The scrawny bespectacled boy punches his shoulder.

"Cool to meet you face to face finally." He nods and half-smiles, keeping his "cool." "This is Karkat and Terezi! You met them too!"

"Hello, Dave," Terezi drawls, creeping inches from his face, smiling. The blind girl appears to be smelling him, which catches him off guard. The boy next to her, Karkat, glares at him. Dave nods at him, not entirely sure what's up with him. He's basically a huge douche online, so it's only to be expected that in real life he is…. also a huge douche. His appearance matches his personality; he's hunched over, wearing long, dark pants despite the fact that it's practically boiling outside, and a black tee-shirt. He has dark bags under his eyes, and a seemingly permanent scowl.

Dave turns his attention to the pale, nerdy fellow that originally called him. John Egbert. John frikkin Egbert, the first guy he met from this school. Total loser. So uncool he could melt Antarctica. And Dave's best bro, for some reason he cannot explain. The two clicked instantly online in June and he'd been talkingto the kid everyday since. John often rambled about his old movies that he was obsessed with, which Dave countered with his sick rhymes. John usually told him his rhymes were crap, but this was coming from the guy with the spindly, white knees and the weird grinning worm shirt. John probably thought Frank Sinatra was the best thing since sliced bread, so Dave didn't value his musical opinions that much.

Standing in front of him now, John measured up about three inches shorter than Dave. His dark brown hair is parted and left to carelessly fall where it wanted. His glasses glinted as he started to walk down the hall. Dave follows him along with the other two. "What's your first class, Dave?" John asks. Dave extracts his already crumpled schedule from his pocket and rips it open carelessly.

"Ah… English," he says. John grins stupidly.

"Hey, cool!" He says. "Me too!" The four keep walking until Karkat stops, tapping Terezi's shoulder to signal that she should stop too.

"We've got math. See ya at lunch, Egbert," he says. "Strider," he adds. Dave nods.

"Bye-bye!" Terezi calls, waving enthusiastically.

"See you guys!" John hollers back.

"See ya around," Dave mutters, following closely behind John. He frowns. The truth is, he kind of has had an on and off crush on John since he met him online. On and off in the sense that sometimes he can deny it better than other times. He'd known for a while that he was gay, but he was never really certain until he met John. He was very certain that he wanted John. But how does he tell a guy who he's only known for three months that he's got a gay crush on him? He doesn't, that's how.

It felt weird that he only knew John for such a short period of time. The two guys were pretty close, and it felt like they'd known each other for a long time. And having a crush on someone for the better part of three months felt like the entire Jurassic period could have happened again.

Of course, as his geeky friend would remind Dave, millions of year and three months weren't exactly the same. Should he wait before bringing it up? Yeah that sounded good.

He'd wait.

Forever, probably.

Dave was sitting alone with Terezi while waiting for John and Karkat to get out of the lunch line later that day. He'd brought a granola bar and some leftover frozen pizza for lunch, because the school food somehow managed to be even more disgusting than Bro's. At least Bro knew better than to serve anything he made from scratch to human beings.

"So," he says to Terezi. "Are you and Karkat dating?" She snorts, sipping at her chocolate milk. Chocolate milk and a large bag of Skittles. That was her lunch. The girl had taste.

"No," she says.

"Oh, well he hangs over he like he are." She waves her hand dismissively.

"He's just like that." Dave nods.

"Do you have a girlfriend or something? From your old school?" She asked conversationally, pushing her sunglasses up on her nose.

"Nah," he says. She pauses then sniffs at him, then reaches out and touches his face.

"Sunglasses. You aren't blind, Dave," she points out.

"No, I just wear them. They're cool." She smiled, somewhat softly.

"I smell red."

"Smell red?" She twirled her hair lazily.

"Synesthesia," she explained. "Confusion of the senses. I smell colors, taste them. Instead of see them."

"That's kinda cool," Dave says. She nods.

"You have red eyes," she says plainly. He wonders if she can smell the pink in his cheeks.

"Yeah," he mutters. "That's part of the reason I wear the glasses."

"Well aren't they cool? Ironic, or whatever, like you like?"

"Yeah, and they scare the crap out of people. I didn't really wanna walk up to you guys and be like 'Hey! Look it's me that guy you met online. By the way my eyes make me look like I sold my soul to Satan or something. But seriously, let's chill.'" She laughed lightly, tossing a handful of Skittles into her mouth.

"Well don't worry. Your secret is safe with me. For now."  
"For now?"

"I'm a very fickle person, Mr. Strider," she said, folding her hands on the table. The two of them laugh. Terezi's pretty cool, too. The only one of the three he didn't really hit it off with was Karkat, but Karkat was just impossible. Dave wouldn't even bother with him except that John and TZ seemed to think he was chill. The two were coming back over now, plates piled high with pasty macaroni and cheese. John slides down next to Dave and Karkat drops firmly down next to Terezi. He offers her an apple soundlessly, which she takes, making him grunt in return. What a dynamic pair.

"So how was your first day here?" John asks Dave. He shrugs, sipping his juice box loudly before answering.

"Alright. It's school, ya know?" John nods. "Better than my old school, I guess."

"Karkat was telling me we might be going on a field trip to the Smithsonian this year," Terezi says, finishing her chocolate milk. Almost instantly, Karkat slides his milk over to her, which she accepts almost mechanically. Dave smirks, realizing that Karkat's got the hots for the blind girl. She peels the milk open as he watches her silently.

"It sounds retarded," Karkat says. "I don't wanna go to some shitty museum." Dave thinks about walking through the museum with John, taking a stupid couple photo, maybe sneaking off from the group and….

He stops himself. What the hell, Strider? His retarded mind then decides now is a good time to say something. "I see," he says. What the hell. That was so pointless. What is he _doing_?

"That sounds cool to me! It's a day to chill my best friends!" John punches Dave's shoulder, which he seems to like to do often. Dave shrugs.

"I dunno, Karkat has a point. Sounds kinda dumb to go stare at dusty things for a day," you say. Karkat nods stoically.

John pulled out his schedule. "So me and Dave have, like, all the same classes! Except for a couple study halls, and P.E, our schedules are identical." Dave nearly freaking jumped out a window with excitement when he realized this. His cool was critically low then. Now he had it under control. He adjusted his sunglasses, nodding slightly.

"Fascinating," Karkat grumbled. Dave glares at him, but the rest of the group seems used to his constant crap attitude. He looks up at John. "John, you have sixth period P.E?" John nods. "Me too."

"Cool!" John says.

"What's your P.E., TZ?" Dave asks.

"Terezi," Karkat corrects him.

"I _know _that," he snaps, rolling his eyes. Not that Karkat can see it. Terezi ignores him, swallowing her Skittles, crumpling up the packet, and tossing it in the trash flawlessly. How the hell did she do that?

"Seventh," she says.

"Cool, me too," he says. She nods.

"Cool, Dave, we have a class together!" She says, proceeding to toss the milk crate into the trash, as perfectly as the Skittles wrapper. Terezi's cool. Maybe she can help him with John and oh my God there he goes with the John crap again.

He talks idly with the group until the bell rings. John heads of to P.E with Karkat, who he's babbling to about some new movie, while Karkat argues back about some other movie. Terezi heads off to her art class. He wonders if she's any good at art. He wouldn't be surprised at this point. He says goodbye to the group and head off to his study hall.

In the study hall, he has absolutely nothing to do. It's the first day. He's got some homework to do from math as review from freshman year, but he's not in the mood to do it now. He'll probably do it at midnight, when Bro finally remembers he's got homework to do.

Instead, he does important things like ponder if there's been any time when he was talking with John that suggests that John has a crush on him. He can't come up with much.

God, it's going to be a long year.

Stretched out in bed, Dave stares at the ceiling, his headphones around his neck as music blasts loudly through them. Bro is still out at his new job at some warehouse. He knows he'll be out of there as soon as he can find some job at a crappy indie record store, regardless of pay. His Bro's too cool to be packing pieces of pipe into boxes.

His phone alerts he that someone is pestering him on Pesterchum. It alerts him ten more times that whoever is messaging he is trying to piss he off.

It's John. In that case, he's not so pissed off.

**ectoBiologist started pestering turntechGod at 5:26 pm**

**EB: hey Dave**

**EB: dave are you there?  
EB: lol dave**

**EB: dave dave**

**EB: dave-ity dave dave dave**

**TG: sup**

**EB: I was wondering if you could offer me some advice?**

**TG: whats up**

**EB: well first off you gotta promise you won't be a total jerk about this**

**TG: no promises**

**EB: Dave. I'm being really serious right now.**

**TG: okay alright seriously we're bros **

**TG: what do you need?**

**EB: I've kinda got a crush on someone**

Well crap. Dave definitely did not want that to happen. He sincerely doubts his dear friend is about to tell him he loves him like this is some cheap romance novel. He stares at the screen blankly before he remembers that John is waiting his response.

**TG: who**

Did that sound cool? Probably not. There's a pause. The screen says John's typing, and then it says he's not. Finally, a new message pops up.

**EB: it's definitely not what you're expecting so don't laugh or whatever**

**TG: alright alright**

For a minute his hopes are lifted. Not what he was expecting? He knows the odds are against he but he still hold onto his silly hope.

**EB: karkat**

Holy shit. What. His mind might have literally just melted and leaked out of his ears, because hell if he can come up with an intelligent response to the name on his screen. Forget a cool response; that's out the window. If he can actually form words right now that's a bonus.

**TG: karkat**

**EB: yeah I know**

**TG: seriously egbert**

**EB: i knew you'd think it was weird that I was gay**

**TG: no no no**

**TG: if you wanna be gay that's great**

**TG: congrats**

**TG: lets go march in one of those parades for you  
**

**EB: dave**

**TG: but seriously**

**TG: its not that youre gay**

**TG: that's not it it's just that he's a douche of epic proportions that is most obviously straight**

**TG: and even if he were gay hed still be a jerk**

He wonders if his insults towards Karkat signal his crush on John. He's hoping John's too wrapped up in his own little schoolgirl emotions to pay attention to his messages that closely.

Okay. So John is gay. That's a plus. But he's got a crush on some other hopeless retard that is not Dave. He weighs this in his head but can't decide whether things are working out in his favor

For a minute, he wonders if he should confess to John. So long as everyone's doing it...But he decides against it. Let's play therapist with John, he decides.

**EB: I know! Its not like I just woke up one morning and was like gee golly I think ill start crushing on a guy that has no interest in me today!**

That made two of them.

**TG: yeah well what are you gonna do **

**TG: you gonna tell him**

**EB: no way. don't tell him alright**

**TG: right**

**EB: I just dunno what to do**

**TG: well**

**TG: you can either tell him or wait for it to pass**

**EB: I'll take the second**

**TG: then do that**

**TG: bros calling me for dinner talk to u at school alright**

**EB: ... Alright**

**TG: hang in there Egbert**

**turntechGod ceased pestering ectoBiologist at 5:43 pm**

Bro, is in fact, passed out on the couch with the remote control in one hand and a bag of Doritos covering the other. He left Dave out some Hamburger Helper that he made earlier which Dave will probably eat later. The fact of the matter is he isn't in the mood to listen to John swoon over the biggest prick in the history of pricks.

He wanders out into the kitchen, and grabs a soda out of the fridge, then returns to his room. He considers talking to Terezi about recent developments and telling her everything. But he promised to keep Johns secret. Well he said he wouldn't tell Karkat but he should probably be a good friend and keep completely quiet. You're God damn welcome, Egbert.

What the hell made Karkat better than Dave? Like, really. Dave didn't wanna be overconfident or cocky but he was pretty sure he was more attractive than him. And nicer. And generally less of a moron. So why would John like him? He knew he was stupid, but not tasteless.

But then, Dave has a crush on him. If you want to talk about tasteless.

He hears Bro wake up in the next room. He decisively opens up a chat window with John.

**turntechGod started pestering ectoBiologist at 5:50 pm**

**TG: sup**

**TG: im back**

**EB: that was fast**

**TG: yeah**

**TG: so you wanted advice or whatever  
EB: well**

**TG: well**

**EB: well i don't really know i guess i just wanted to get it off my chest**

**TG: why don't you tell karkat**

**EB: cause i don't wanna ruin my friendship**

**EB: cause i know he's not into me**

Wow John, just hop onto this bandwagon of unreturned, out of place, gay feelings for his friends. Dave sighs and stare at the screen.

**EB: what do you think i should do?**

**TG: hell if i know**

**EB: dave!**

**TG: im not dr phil**

**TG: do you want me to be**

**TG: sit right down **

**TG: now i think the problem here**

**TG: is you john**

**EB: dave stop**

**TG: alright that's what i thought**

"Dave! Shit's on!" Bro calls, as the microwave beeps. Reheated Hamburger Helper, joy of joys. Dave stares at his pesterlog.

"Alright," he calls back.

**TG: bro calls**

**EB: thought you already dealt with him**

**TG: well i have to deal with him again**

**TG: see ya**

**EB: bye dave**

By the time he logs off, Dave's not entirely sure whether he want to go smack Egbert around a bit or throw Karkat Vantas in front of the green-line subway before school tomorrow morning.

Mostly he just doesn't want to have this stupid crush in the first place.


	2. Chapter 3-5

At school your eyes are trained on John. At least he can't tell you're staring at him the majority of the day past your glasses. Most of the day, he acts like John. He nearly falls asleep in English, and grumbles to himself throughout math. You don't know what you were expecting to change. It wasn't like he was going to start scratching _JE and KV forever _into the desks or anything suddenly just because he told you.

You pick up, though, on every little thing he says to Karkat and analyze it. You're the freaking FBI and he's your top suspect. You need to know everything. Karkat, of course, is being his normal cantankerous self. He gripes about how the teachers shouldn't give so much work on the second day of school. John sympathizes with him. You have the urge to say something contradictory, but you really have nothing to say.

At lunch, you decide to talk to TZ about it before you end up losing your cool. You feel like you can trust her. Today, she has another carton of milk, a hot pocket, and a bag of gummy bears. You have the rest of your frozen pizza and another soda, which you leave untouched for the minute. It's time for a heart to heart girl talk. Oh my God, you are such a loser.

"Hey, TZ, I need to spill some stupid feelings out." She smiles.

"Spill it out, Strider. I'm your diary."

"Well, I like this person," you explain. "But they like someone else."

"How drearily cliché," she drawls. You shrug, and crack open your soda as she pops a gummy bear into her mouth. She offers you the bag, and you take a yellow one.

"Well, it happens that it's," you lower your voice, as if John is suddenly going to teleport out of the lunch line to hear you, "John." She grins. "What?"

"Nothing," she says.

"You think it's funny," you say flatly. She shrugs.

"I just wouldn't have guessed that was your kinda thing. But anyway, what's up with John?"

"Well, you gotta keep this quiet."

"Cross my heart."

"You better."

"I do," her voice attains a level of seriousness that makes you believe her. You wouldn't have turned to her if you didn't think you can trust her. You take a long sip of cola before slamming the can down and looking at her.

"He likes Karkat." She pauses. then laughs. You wait for her to collect herself.

"Well, that's a shame," she says. "I knew the kid was weird, but not enough that he'd like _Karkat._" You say nothing, so she leans forward, sitting on her knees. "Look, Karkat's a nice enough guy. In fact, there's been several times where I've even considered taking up his offer to date him," she says. "_But _if you really look at him, he's got nothing."

'You're telling me," you grumble.

"Well you have to convince John of that. Karkat can provide the same amount of emotional support as a rock. Even to _me_, he means well but if I was upset, he'd probably just start screaming at me, and flipping his shit." You nod.

"So you're saying I have to convince John that Karkat is an inconsiderate asshole."

"Pretty much," she answers. "I don't see how it's not obvious."

"So you're saying if he _could _learn how to deal with people, you would date him." She shrugged, then grinned at you like a snake.

"You want me to date him so that he's out of your way."

"It would help," you respond coolly. You both laugh. She sits back down normally.

"No, but seriously,' she said. "You either need to get John to realize he's a jerk or make Karkat magically more attractive to me."

"Great," you say. "Let me just work on that." John and Karkat are heading over, so you keep your mouth shut, unwrapping your pizza. You realize they probably had a whole conversation while they were in line. It was probably completely pointless, but your FBI instincts make you want to know. You listen to hear if they're still talking, but it seems they're done.

"Hey Terezi," John calls, sliding down next you. You glance over at him, then turn back to your lunch. Focus on your lunch, not John. Are you trying to make him jealous of your leftover pizza? Keep dreaming, Dave.

You glance over at Terezi, who is being handed her apple and milk from Karkat, wordlessly as it was yesterday. As promised, so far she's kept both of your secrets quiet. You decide that even if it's not much of a secret, you'll keep what she said about her interest in Karkat quiet for now. Maybe, though, if you let it slide to Karkat he'd get his crap together. For now, you introvertedly consume your lunch.

"Hey John," you offer after a moment. "You wanna come over tonight? Bro's getting Chinese, I think."

"Oh, sorry, I can't," John says instantly. "Karkat and I are going to the movies." What? Shit!

"Yeah, your crap movie," Karkat hisses.

"We saw your pick last time!" Last time? How many times have these two gone out together? Your face is growing red, and there's nothing you can do about it. "And I'm paying." Karkat grunts and shrugs.

"Whatever."

"_I'll _come over, Dave," Terezi says. "If your brother's alright with a girl coming over." You frown, and make eye contact with her. She can't read any of your facial signals, but she smiles at you emptily.

"Oh, yeah, that's fine," you say. "Wanna come over after school?"

"Cool," she said, nodding. Karkat, you realize, is trying to murder you with his eyes. The rest of lunch continues, everyone making light conversation. The entire time, Karkat is still trying to make you keel with dirty looks. After lunch, you walk with Terezi to P.E.

"How come you offered to come over?" You ask.

"Well," she said. "I don't know. It seemed like it would help the both of us."

"Help the both of us?"

"Well, it certainly made Karkat jealous. Maybe he'll get his act together. And I thought maybe John was maybe the smallest fraction of jealous?"

"So you're saying you _do _like Karkat." You say. She smiles softly, and keeps walking. She takes off her glasses, and begins to clean them on her shirt. Her eyes are a deep blue, both looking off emptily at the hallway in front of her.

"Well, yeah," she said, "But I don't like him right now. I like who I know he is when he's not trying to be a big, confident jerk." You say nothing. She laughs and shakes her head. "God, I sound like such a pansy right now."

"Then that makes two of us." She slides her glasses back up onto her face. "Gym's here," you say. She stops and turns, following you close. She seems to, though, have the school memorized, because she begins to walk off to the girl's changing room easily.

As you change into your gym clothes, you consider what Terezi said. Your "plan", if you could call it that, seems impossible. Make John see the error of his ways, or be the matchmaker to. Terezi and Karkat. You don't want to be a crappy friend and force your friend to go off with some jerk, either. So you would have to get Karkat to stop being an ass. Easy. Get the sun to stop shining, right? Maybe, though, like Terezi said, if you made him jealous by hanging out with Terezi, he'd try a little harder to be more of a gentleman and not a prick.

…

You get to your apartment, which you hope to God is at least moderately clean. You hope Bro's weird hipster crap isn't all over the floor. You wonder what your Bro's favorite marionette, Lil Cal, would smell like to Terezi. Probably pure hatred, whatever that smells like. Hopefully he hasn't unpacked that yet. You doubt Lil Cal actually ever went into a box. Your room is still clean, only because your crap is still in all the moving boxes, shoved into wobbling towers in your closet. Terezi follows close to you, wielding a cane to navigate. She doesn't use it much though, letting it slide lazily at her side.

"Bro," you call. "I'm home!"

"Yep," Bro calls, the sound of a computer game coming from his room.

"I brought a friend."

"Alright," he calls. The computer game pauses. Oh God, he's going to introduce himself, isn't he? Oh please don't. Here he comes.

Your brother walks in. He's taller than you, but has the same blonde hair. He wears triangular-lensed sunglasses, and a black baseball cap. His shirt is the same one he must have worn to work today because it's smudged with oil and dirt, tucked into his black skinny, denim jeans.

"Hello, little miss," he says. Pretty cordial, for Bro. He sticks out his hand. Terezi stares blankly at him.

"She's blind, Bro," you say. He nods, making a bit of a face.

"So you're a friend of the Little Man?" You roll your eyes. She nods.

"You must be his brother," she says simply. "Nice to meet you."

"Same," he said. "Hey, kid, if you need anything I'll be in my room. Snacks in the fridge, you know the deal." He disappears as quickly as he appeared. Thank God he didn't make any dumb cracks at you. Must be busy with whatever he's doing.

You lead Terezi into the living room. Lil Cal is sitting on the coffee table, so you punt him into the corner of the room. "Whatcha want to do?" She shrugs.

"Watch TV?" You stare at her stupidly for a minute. _Watch _TV? She shrugs.

"Sure." You flip on the television, and flip through the channels. Finally, you end up landing on Judge Judy.

"Oh, keep it on," she insists. She grins. "I like these shows, alright?" You both laugh. You end up watching a marathon of the old hag screaming at confused, fat men. The whole time Terezi is coming up with her own ideas, and trying to rule the cases herself.

"You wanna be a judge or something?"

"A lawyer," she says, going back to listening to the show. Your phone sends you an alert.

**ectoBiologist started pestering turntechGod at 4:05 pm**

**EB: hey dave is that offer to come over still open**

**EB: karkats with me**

**EB; our movies done**

Your initial thought is shock that you have actually been watching Judge Judy for over an hour with Terezi. Your second is excitement that John wants to come over, followed by anger that he wants to drag Karkat over. You look over at Terezi who's listening intently to the exposition for a new case.

"John and Karkat wanna come over. What do you think?"

"I think it should be interesting."

"Should I invite them over?"

"Let's do this." You both nod.

"Let's do this." They both nod.

…

Dave lets Terezi watch Judge Judy while he nervously waits for John and his stupid movie date to arrive. Bro emerges out of his room once, grabs a can of soda, grabs Lil Cal and retreats back into his room without a word. Whatever. A knock comes from her door. Dave stands up, and go to get it.

"Stay cool, Dave," Terezi said.

"Yep," he mutters through a sigh. Slowly he opens the door. As expected, John is standing there, in a green tee-shirt and a pair of khaki shorts, the same thing he was wearing at school. He smiles.

"Hey Dave," he says cheerily. Karkat hovers behind him, and is already craning his neck. looking for Terezi. He and Dave both exchange an empty look as John comes in. Karkat follows soundlessly. Dave really doesn't want him over his house, but whatever. If it gets John over… "He two doing anything excited?"

"Totally," Dave says. "Watching Judge Judy." Terezi emerges from the living room and Karkat moves over to her, like a magnet. Dave resists the urge to laugh. John frowns at Karkat's shift to the girl Already it's getting awkward. There's a different atmosphere than when he're at school, but he can't really describe it.

"So," Terezi says, "how was the movie, guys?" Dave clenches his fists at his sides. What he would have given to be the one going to see that movie with John. He's so pathetic right now.

"Good!" John cries.

"Mediocre," Karkat mumbles at the same time. John frowns at him, and Karkat shrugs, running his fingers through his messy brown hair. Terezi hovers closer to him than usual. Dave watches her intently. She smirks at him.

"Why don'tcha ever take _me _to the movies, Karkat?" Terezi drawls. Dave understands now. Terezi's throwing everything she's got at Karkat now. It's a test of sorts. Karkat frowns and fidgets. John backs away from the two a little, frowning a bit more. His cheeks are tinged red. Dave's eyes dart between the three quickly. His glasses help him keep his cool. God, he loves his glasses right now.

"I, uh, I," he rambles. John's attention is fixed on the tall boy. Karkat's dark brown eyes dart between Terezi and the floor. Occasionally, he glances at Dave. "I didn't think you were into that kinda thing."

"You never _asked_," she snaps. "What kind of a gentleman are you?"

"I'm not a _gentleman_," he snaps, "at all! But, uh, I'm sorry. I should've asked" Terezi grins triumphantly. Dave doesn't see the appeal in all this, but whatever floats her boat. She says nothing, just grins at Karkat, waiting for him to make the next move. "I could, uh, take _you _to the movies next time." Ouch. Poor John. Dave looks over at her friend. John's still staring blankly at Karkat, watching the whole thing unfold. That's gotta hurt for him.

Dave back up closer to him, he looks at John, and they keep eye contact for a few seconds before Terezi speaks again.

"Yeah, maybe you _should_," she sings. "Learn how to be a gentleman while you're at it too."

"I'm not going to be a _gentleman_. But, seriously, when with the movie?"

"Let's talk about it on Pesterchum tonight," she says simply. She's probably trying to spare John, who has turned a few shades redder. Dave wonders if she can smell it. Karkat nods, then smiles slightly. Holy shit, he's never seen the kid smile. It's an ugly, broken thing, his smile. He could do with never seeing it again.

"Uh… video games?" Dave offers after a very long, excruciatingly awkward silence.

"Yeah," John pipes up shakily. "Video games sounds cool."

"Screw video games," Karkat hisses.

'He just suck at them," John said, smiling wearily. It's a very fake smile, he can see that. Terezi punches Karkat in the arm lightly. He blushes like an idiot.

"Well, I wanna see John and Dave play. John thinks he's the best, and someone should knock him down a peg," she says. Oh my God, if Dave weren't a flaming homosexual, he would kiss that girl right now. He knows she's doing her best to help him. Karkat snorts. John frowns.

"I can beat Dave," he protests.

"Yeah right," Dave says. "You've never seen me play, Egbert."

"And you've never seen _me_ play," he retorts. "Bring it on."

"Alright," Dave says. "What kinda game you wanna do?"

"Racing," he says after a minute. Karkat and Terezi are laughing at the two of them. Dave laughs and shakes her head.

"You're going down," he snaps. Dave's totally over-enjoying every second of this. He leads them into the living room. Terezi comes over to Dave while the other two settle onto the couch. As he sest up Burnout, she smiles at him.

"Thanks," she whispers.

"Thank _you_," he says. "You are the freaking best, TZ." She laughs and sits down next to Karkat, who fidgets uncomfortably.

He and John play a couple rounds, until the Chinese Bro must have ordered from the depths of his cave arrives. Bro emerges out of his room, and Dave introduces him to John and Karkat. After a hasty introduction, he disappears back into his dungeon with a box of lo mein noodles. That's Bro for you. He's probably writing a new song or something, in which case he won't be out of his room much for the next week.

Once she's finished, Terezi grabs her cane. "I should probably be home soon so I can do the math homework." He nod.

"Alright, see ya tomorrow."

"I'll walk you home," Karkat offers, immediately standing up. John looks at him, then directs his attention to his dinner, pushing the pork fried rice around the plate with his fork.

"Fine," Terezi says. "Bye John, bye Dave," she gives each of them a quick hug, and is out the door. Dave wonders if she did that on purpose, so they could each get time alone with the object of their affection. Once they leave, there's silence.

"Tough break, man," Dave mumbles to John after a while. The silence hangs in the air, making Dave fidgets uncomfortably.

"Yeah," he mumbles, shoving a forkful of rice into his mouth. "It's not like I didn't know it was only a matter of time," he said through his food.

"Well, Terezi told me she liked Karkat and stuff," Dave says. "I wasn't sure whether you'd wanna hear it, you know?'

"Oh, don't worry," John said, rolling his eyes in agitation. "I already knew. Don't let her fool you. Those two have been on and off for forever, no matter what she says. Now was more of an _off _time, so I thought maybe I had some prayer of a chance, but…," he trails off and shrugs.

"Well why don't we play another round and forget about it? Chill out," Dave offers. He shrugs.

"It's probably best." Dave wants to make a move so bad, but he can't. He's a chicken. There's silence for a while as they both finish eating. "The movie sucked."  
"Was no good?'

"No the movie was fine. Going _with Karkat _to the movies sucked. The whole time I basically just felt bad for myself, and it was miserable. I don't know what I was thinking asking him to go with me." Wow, Dave really had _zero _idea what that felt like.

"Well that sucks. Did you try to make conversation?"

"What am I going to say during a movie?" John cried miserably. Dave takes his plate and tosses it in the sink to deal with later. They both head into the living room. As much as Dave doesn't really want to talk about John's crush on Karkat, he wants to shoot it down as much as he can.

'Well, what are yougoing to talk to _Karkat _about in general, except for doom and gloom 'life sucks' kind of stuff? YouHe know how he is."

John shrugged. "Yeah, but…,' he looked at his hands. "It's stupid but… it's like I have some sort of imaginary, awesome version of Karkat that I feel like he really is. Like he's not really a giant jerk."

"Well, he is," he snap. He looks up at he, and frowns.

"You two really didn't really start off on the wrong foot, didyou?" Dave tries not to blush.

"Obviously not. He looks ready to kill me just because I'm around TZ. It's really annoying,' he says hastily. A little too hastily, he think. John nods.

"Well, yeah, he's _really _gotta a thing for Terezi," he rolls his eyes again. "What's up with you and her?'

"We're just friends," Dave says, frowning and furrowing his eyebrows. John laughs.

"You like her?" He asks. "You seem like you have a chance of stealing her from Karkat. You guys clicked real fast. It took Karkat forever for Terezi to warm up to him." Great. Now Egbert things Dave likes Terezi.

"No I don't _like _her," he says. His face is reddening. JohnHe grins.

"Oh my God, he so do," he says, like he's a ten year old girl. Dave cross her arms.

"John, I'm God damn _gay_."

…

Shit, did he just say that?

**fixed everything that was originally second person. starting new chapters soon :)**


	3. Chapter 6

**Hey everyone~ The positive reviews make my day :D I'm glad you guys think it's good! **

** Just to let you know, I'll take requests if you like my writing. I won't turn you down because I don't like a pairing (I might write some pairings better than others though, just to forewarn you) Send it to me in a review or a PM! **

**:3 enjoy chapter 6 of Sophomore Year Shennanigans! **

**I don't know am I dragging Dave's confession out too long? It's only been two days, story time. That's totally how crushes feel, though you know? Like… forever D: **

Well crap. There's a window there… Dave may as well look for exits while he can. He's not entirely sure what he's expecting to happen, but his cool has flown away with his little slip. He finally musters the brainpower to look over at John, who is smiling. Stupid Egbert, always smiling. What do his smiles mean?

"Seriously, Dave?"

"_Seriously_," Dave snaps, on edge. He maintains eye contact with John only because he knows John can't see past his glasses. John's smile fades.

"Why didn'tcha tell me before?" He asks simply. Dave scowls, his face probably beet red by this point.

"I didn't wanna," he says tersely, sinking onto the couch. John plops down next to him. Dave is reaching critical embarrassment and is seriously considering escaping out the window before shit goes down.

"But we're best friends!" John cries. Dave crosses his arms defensively, scrambling to manage his normal attitude. The game's title screen is playing it's song in the background, left forgotten.

"You didn't tell _me _until you needed to," Dave points out. Silence. Too much silence today. Dave swears he'll never invite another friend over. This has been total hell. John shrugs, accepting this.

"Does anyone else know?"

"No," Dave lies instantly. "I'm probably gonna tell Terezi soon." He wants John to think that he'd be the first to know, even if things really didn't work out that way.

"So," John says, his stupid grin returning. "Who do you like in that case?" Face reddens even more. Eyes move to the floor. Dave _is_ _not _telling John. Not now. Probably not ever, he thinks for the millionth time. His muscles are tense, tying themselves in knots so all he can do is sit like one of Bro's marionettes on the couch, the same glassy expression and all.

"Nobody," Dave mutters. "I don't have to like anybody, you know." John nods. There's silence. John's looking at him. Dave stares at the game, furiously pressing buttons. He tosses him the other controller, which hits John in the legs.

"Umph," he mumbles. He's _still _looking at Dave. God, Dave wishes he knew what John was thinking.

"_What_," Dave snaps impatiently after a while.

"You like Karkat, don't you?" He says softly. Of for God's sake- really, John? "Is that why you get so defensive when I talk about him?" Dave glares at him, pausing the game right before the race begins. John sets down his controller.

"No," Dave says as flatly as he can. John's look is skeptical, which is starting to piss Dave off. "Maybe _you _can't see it, John, but Karkat is really the last person in the world anyone should want to date."

"See, there you go with it again!" John snaps. "You can't say his name without an insult!" You roll your eyes. "God, is that why you're acting so weird today? Is it because I like the same guy as you? Are we going to be like catty little middle school girls now over this?"

"John. _I don't like Karkat_," Dave nearly shouts. John is unconvinced.

"You're lying to me." Dave glares at John, but he is totally convinced. It's funny what his stupid crush has done to his mind. Everyone's out to get his perfect man, aren't they? Dave lowers his head, and then sighs. He slowly removes his glasses off his face, and looks directly into John's eyes.

"Look," he says. John is transfixed, probably terrified of Dave's stupid, devil-worshipper eyes. "I don't like Karkat. Bro's honor." He lifts up his right hand, then presses his sunglasses back onto his face. John frowns, then nods.

"Fine. I believe you. But then what's up?"

"I just don't like him and I don't see why I have to hang out with him just so I can be around you and Terezi," Dave hisses. "Can we drop it now?" John nods slowly, and you turn the game back on. He keeps quiet about Dave revealing his creepy ass eyes. Dave kind of wishes he would bring that up, just so he could know what John thought. He undoubtedly thought they were weird and disturbing, of course. But Dave would like to believe that he was totally mesmerized and fell in love with Dave when he saw his eyes. Like this is The Notebook or something equally corny. He hunches over his control. Dave creamed John at every other race tonight, but this one, he flies off the road every few seconds, into the guardrails. He's sure John's noticed the change, but at least this time the idiot doesn't bring it up.

Dave stupidly wonders if now would be the right time to confess. Then John would know why he hated Karkat. He still wasn't convinced that John didn't think he was head over heels for Karkat, anyway. They play a few more races with only the slightest bit of light conversation, and crap jokes about each other's playing skills. Dave can't win a single race; his hands are shaking all night.

"It's getting late," Dave points out after a while. "It'll be getting dark soon. Do you need a ride home or anything? John checks outside. The sun is just beginning to set. He shakes his head. "Alright." Dave walks John over to the door.

He should do it. He should confess now, while John is walking out. Confess and then make a mad dash back inside, before John has any time to react. Maybe John would stand at the doorway for a moment, his eyes wide, nearly pressed against the door, before he turned away and headed home. Maybe it would make everything easier for Dave if he just did this right here, right now.

"John." He turns around. Oh crap, Dave did not just do that. Mission abort, mission god damn abort. You are _not _really going through with this, never, never. There's a way too long pause.

"Yeah?" John asks after a while. Dave exhales the entire contents of his longs, then takes a quick breath in.

"Don't tell anyone, alright?" John nods instantly, and gives Dave a stupid wink and smile.

"Of course! See you tomorrow, Dave."

"See ya, John."

Dave is, he reminds himself, the most uncool person on the planet when it comes with dealing to John Egbert.

**Next chapter: Aftwer weeks of a stalemate for Dave, Terezi assures dave that she'll "Have a chat' with John. Will she make things worse, or does the girl really know what she's talking about? Stay tuned! ;)**


	4. Chapter 7

**Drama time! **

**Thanks as always!**

John doesn't change around Dave at all. Not the next day at school. Or the day after that. Or the day after _that_. Or through the entire month of September. Dave has found himself in a cycle of waking up, hiding his feelings around John, hating Karkat and chilling with Terezi. Of course, it's not all bad. He hangs out with John and Terezi, and even Karkat sometimes. John still tries his best with Karkat, inviting him to more movies. He knows he's fighting a losing battle at this point, at least. Terezi and Karkat have been hanging out more, but Terezi still stubbornly insists that he gets his act together before she'll take the next step and be his girlfriend. Terezi hangs out with you more often, which pisses off Karkat. 

Dave talked to Bro, of all people, about John. Bro didn't offer much sympathy or help. At least he didn't laugh at Dave for being gay. It felt good to get it off his chest and tell Bro so at least if Dave came waltzing through the door one day with his male fiancée or whatever Bro wouldn't be surprised.

John was at first still skeptical that Dave liked Karkat, which pissed Dave off more than anything else about the entire situation. After a while, though, John dropped it. Terezi insisted that Dave should tell John. She argued that John was _totally _getting over Karkat and that now was Dave's chance. Yeah, sure. He was _totally _getting over Karkat and that was why he still passed up Dave's offers to come over (which Dave usually told himself was best anyway) because he was busy tutoring Karkat, or busy buying Karkat dinner, or busy watching eighties movies with Karkat.

Karkat, of course, was not growing any more interested in John. Every day he gave Terezi his apple and his milk as though these were invaluable tokens of his love for her. He offered to take her out every single weekend, and even on many of the weekdays. Terezi arbitrarily accepted and declined, depending on her mood, the weather, the time. Like a true woman. That's probably why Dave gave up on woman. Not that this whole John ordeal was proving any less impossible for him. And so the cycle went on. John's little heart broke as he watched Karkat swoon over Terezi, and Dave wanted to throw Karkat through a window while he watched John's little heart break over him.

And Terezi chilled and drank chocolate milk.

October fourth, the fourth week of school. Dave's progress with John? Zero, unless you counted that John knew he was gay. Dave did not count this. John knowing Dave was gay did not make John his boyfriend, and that was the real goal here, wasn't it?

"Tell him," Terezi insisted most days.

"No," Dave snapped back instantly. "It's pointless."

And now it was October fourth, and Dave could not help but feel that he was going to grow old and die trying to get John's attention.

As it turned out, his good chum Terezi felt the very same way.

"Dave Strider," she says with a grin at lunch. "I come bearing the answers to all your problems." She sits next to Dave at lunch today. Hopefully Karkat will not come and burn his house down tonight because of this. John and Karkat have not arrived yet from P.E., which makes Dave annoyed for reasons he can perfectly well explain but chooses not to.

"Oh really?" He mutters, raising an eyebrow. She takes out her phone and slides it over to him. On the screen is a Pesterlog.

**ectoBiologist started pestering gallowsCalibrator at 8:12 pm**

**EB: hey terezi!**

**EB: you haven't been online lately**

**GC: h3y j0hn**

**GC: sch00l h4s b33n k33p1ng m3 busy**

Dave glances up at her. "When's this from?"

"Last night," she replies. She taps the screen with her nail impatiently. "Keep reading."

**EB: yeah same here**

**GC: s0 wh4ts up**

**EB: well you know how I told you that I had a crush on karkat?**

**GC: y3s **

**EB: well i kinda have an…. well… an update **

**GC: upd4t3?**

**EB: i have absolutely nobody else to turn to**

**GC: w3ll 1'm gl4d t00 b3 y0ur l4st r3s0rt**

**EB: well I don't mean it like that! **

**GC: 1m just bugg1ng y0u. wh4ts up?**

**EB: well did dave tell you that thing?**

**GC: th4t h3s g4y?**

**EB: yeah  
EB: so you know good.**

**GC: s0 y0u 4r3 n0w g1v1ng up 4nd f1nd1ng a m0r3 r34s0n4bl3 p3rs0n t0 crush on**

**GC: n4m3ly d4v3**

**EB: wow**

**EB: you're good**

**GC: 1 try**

Dave looks up. "He…?" She taps the screen again.

**EB: but its like… **

**EB: I still really like karkat**

**EB: but I kinda like Dave now too**

**GC: 0h j0hn y0u s1lly l1ttl3 sch00l g1rl! **

**EB: but I was wondering  
EB: like do you think Dave likes me**

**EB: I mean has he told you anything that would make you think that he did**

**GC: h3 m1ght**

**EB: what do you mean by that?  
GC: 1 m34n y0u w0uld h4v3 t0 4sk d4v3**

**EB: so youre not gonna tell me**

**GC: 1 d0nt kn0w 4nyth1ng**

**GC: h3 h4snt d1r3ctly m3nt10n3d it**

**GC: but 1 w0uldn't s4y 1ts n3v3r b33n 1mpl13d  
GC: 1 h4v3 to g0**

**GC: h0m3w0rk **

**EB: …bye**

**gallowsCalibrator ceased pestering ectoBiologist at 8:30 pm**

"You are a devious," Dave says quietly after a while. John and Karkat have walked in, which Dave hardly registers. They go up to the lunch line. Terezi smiles.

"This is good news, Dave!"

"He _kind of _likes me," Dave repeats. "He still likes Karkat, but he _kind of _likes me. What does that even mean?"

"It means you have a chance!" Terezi cries, tossing Dave half of one of her three KitKat bars as celebration. Dave takes it and trades her a crappy store-bought chocolate chip cookie from his bag of them.

"Yeah," Dave says slowly, not sure how to respond. This is good. This is most definitely good. "But where do I go from here."

"Well," Terezi says. "It's all up to you. You could always do the note in the locker… or the sudden kiss goodbye, if you're looking for drama. You could tell him straight out if you wanna be unoriginal."

"Thanks for the advice," Dave grumbles. "You basically are saying I _have _to ask him out."

"Yes."

"Which is not true."

"Dave," Terezi snaps. "In the honest opinion of a friend, you would have to be totally retarded if you didn't take this opportunity." John and Karkat are heading over now. Dave's heart starts pounding and his face instantly grows red. Oh God. He glances at John, then immediately returns to his bag of Chips Ahoy, which he's not really hungry for, but eats regardless to keep himself busy. John sits down in his normal spot next to Dave. Karkat glances at Terezi, and sits a foot or two away from her at the round table, glancing at Dave. Chocolate milk. Apple.

But no conversation starter from John. John is already eating, staring blankly at his hamburger as he pops fries into his mouth soundlessly. Terezi looks between Dave and him. She grabs her glasses and pushes them down her nose so she can properly give Dave dirty look. Is it a dirty "look" when someone can't see? Or is it just a dirty empty-eyes-in-their-general-direction? Dave crosses his arms to signal that he's not trying anything. She sighs and sits up normally.

"So how was gym?" She says after a while.

"Alright," John says quickly. "We had to run laps, mostly." Terezi works to ping-pong useless conversation between herself and one or two of the boys for most of lunch.

Finally, lunch ends. Dave and John are heading off towards English. John is chattering about how he didn't really _read _the chapter he just kind of _skimmed _the chapter so he hoped they weren't having a pop quiz. Dave doesn't really hear him, though. His mind is having a war as to what to say right now. Finally, right before they enter the room, one side wins.

"Hey, John, wait up," Dave calls. "I gotta talk to you."

**Next chapter- DON'T BE A WUSS, DAVE! **


	5. Chapter 8

**This chapters short. Moment you've been waiting for? Let's see! **

**also: my brand new tumblr! sarahaku. tumblr .com  
i'm gonna be working on some original stories maybe? i'll do requests on here and on tumblr now OwO i'm really excited to hear from you guys! so send me requests or reviews or something! don't be shy; i have no life! ;u;  
**

John stops. John waits to be told whatever it is that you wanted to tell him.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Dave has done it now. Zero turning back. Now or never. All or nothing. Come on, man. Get yourself together.

Dave, has admittedly, lost his cool. It has flown far, far away. Dave will not be redeeming his cool for an indefinite period of time. His face is red, his hands are tying knots behind his back. His heart is hammering. He thinks of kissing John. No, he can't do that. He's not crazy. There are tons of people around… and…

There are windows. Windows. Dave loves windows. He should go jump out a window right now, and then bury himself in his headphones, drop out of school at age fifteen and work at a Wendy's for the rest of his life. That would be easier than doing what he's doing now. You know, Wendy's never really was his thing. Maybe a Taco Bell. Yes, yes. He can see his entire life unfolding in front of him. He wonders if that window is locked. It all starts with that window. Because hell if he can tell John what he intends to tell him right now.

"What's up, Dave?" Oh, right. He's right there. Dave looks up. John is staring at him. He _has _to know what this is about. Or at least it's had to cross his mind. His blue eyes are locked on Dave. Dave is going to collapse into one, big puddle of pathetic. He sighs.

"Look, Egbert," he sputters. He rips his glasses off and stares John in the face. "I've liked you since I met you and now I'm going to tell you before I end up having a stroke."

So cool, Strider. _So, so cool. _Damn it. Dave stares at his sneakers, before he remembers to look up at John. John is blushing, and after a while he smiles. "What?" Dave mutters edgily. John giggles. Freaking giggles. It makes Dave blush, which makes him feel even stupider. He wonders if its too late for that window.

"Well, uh, that's awesome!' John says. "I kind of like you, too. Well, not kind of. I like you a lot!" He laughs nervously

"I thought you like Karkat," Dave finds himself saying bitterly. John blushes more.

"Well… I did. But then when you told me you were gay and… and when you took off your glasses." For a moment, Dave doesn't know what to say. This was way too easy. He can't be bitter about the whole Karkat thing. He feels like he just won some stupid race he's been running for the past two months.

Dave is awesome. Dave is basically now number one because Dave has just won the affections of John. He feels like he could fly. Screw that window, and the job at Taco Bell. He could go win a Nobel Prize right now, just for being Dave Strider. He could go tell the president to move the hell aside and the president would apologize for wasting his time. Dave is just that awesome right now.

Screw you, window. Dave Strider doesn't need you. Dave's got John wrapped around his pinky. Dave feels like he's going to explode from the sheer awesomeness that is him and John.

He remembers that he's supposed to be holding a pretty important conversation with John right now.

"That's so corny, John." But Dave's struggling to keep his smile down to a cool smirk. John laughs.

"So, uh, what does that mean?" Dave shrugs.

"We dating?" Dave offers, crossing his arms. He crosses his arms mostly due to the fact that keeping calm right now and not hugging John to death right now is a challenge. Would John mind if he hugged him right now? Let's not push it. Let's just go with the flow.

"Really?" John asks, grinning. Dave's blushing like crazy but he rolls his eyes and slips his glasses back on, nodding. "A-Alright! Yeah!" John stammers. The bell rings. John glances at Dave, then runs into the class.

Bingo, Strider.


	6. Chapter 9

**Did you perhaps think that Sophomore Year Shennanigans was coming to an end? **

**ohohoho my dear friends, this is only the beginning! there's a lot of school year left for our dear Dave Strider and company!**

**according to my word processor its spelt "Shenanigans" Not in this fanfic it ain't. lul what am i even talking about. anyway chapter 10 **

**like I said, this is only the beginning for our new couple ((evil laughter)) **

Dave can't find Terezi for the rest of the day. He is dying to tell her of his success. Damn, Dave, you are becoming such a girl. He laughs at himself. He considered asking John to come over after school but he had another fit of girly pathetic-ness and deciding against it at the last minute. But he is already scheming what he can do for a first date. He's got it all planned. He'll make it so perfect. Karkat? Karkat who, John will say. Dave is so pumped for this relationship. They're gonna be freaking Cinderella and Prince Charming. This is going to _rock_.

"Bro, I'm home!" He calls, like always.

"Hi," Bro calls. Bro is on his laptop in the living room, his bare feet up on the coffee table. Bro is very much a bachelor. On his computer he's mixing screwing around on some sort of game. Doesn't he have, like, adult stuff to do? Go to a bar or something? Dave rolls his eyes. Whatever. Bro is Bro, and that's just about the only way to explain it. "How was school?"

"Good," Dave responds. Bro raises an eyebrow.

"Good? That's a rare answer from you." Dave doesn't really want to tell Bro yet. Bro will probably tease him mercilessly for the rest of the night if he does, so he shrugs. "Did you kiss your little boyfriend yet?" Dave snorts and rolls his eyes, hoping he doesn't look too embarrassed. Bro turns his game back on, signaling he's probably done with conversation until dinner. If he ever remembers dinner. Usually he does but sometimes Dave ends up with Doritos. He could, in theory, heat himself up some pizza or even fry a steak or something. But when Dave makes dinner, dinner consists of Cool Ranch Doritos. If he's feeling extravagant maybe he'll have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Providing Bro has bought bread, which he doesn't always do. It's not that he doesn't remember just some weeks, Bro will simply be wandering the isles of Stop and Shop, see the bread, maybe pick it up, shake his head and continue on. As always, such is the mysterious ways of the Bro.

Dave leaves Bro to his computer game and goes to his own laptop. He takes it from his desk and stretches out on his bed, rolling his shoulders. He has homework. Screw homework. Today is, like, a holiday for Dave. October fourth is now Dave and John Day. Let it go down in the history books. Homework can be done tomorrow five minutes before class, because today is Dave and John Day and it is now part of Dave's religion to celebrate it by not giving a crap about his algebra work. Carpe diem.

John is already online. Dave considers pestering him. What would he say? Luckily, John starts the conversation

**ectoBiologist started pestering turntechGod at 3:39 pm**

**EB: hey dave!**

**TG: hey john**

**EB: how are you doing? **

**TG: pretty chill. u?**

This is the most sterile conversation ever.

**EB: alright**

**EB: i was wondering**

**EB: did you tell your bro your gay?**

**TG: yeah a while ago why**

**EB: well **

**EB: i still haven't told Dad **

**EB: and i have no idea how**

Urk, Doctor Phil time. Dave is no good at providing emotional support. But he is _not _going to be a Karkat about this. Time to put on the therapist hat and help out his new boyfriend.

**TG: well with bro it was like**

**TG: yo bro. i'm gay**

**TG: okay, dave. don't get AIDS**

**TG: got it, bro**

**EB: but you know dads not bro**

**TG: well yeah**

**EB: its not that i think he would be upset**

**EB: but you know how hes always like breathing down my neck  
EB: and he'll probably get all over excited and rent three thousand Learning Seed videos and buy me a big color book and sit me down and have a talk**

**EB: and then insist that he meets you**

**TG: well i don't mind meeting your dad**

**EB: youll probably have to do paperwork **

Dave likes that John is talking to him like a boyfriend. When he realizes that that's what they're doing, he's determined to be the best freaking boyfriend ever. One hundred percent support, right here. Optimism all the way. He's going to do what he is best at. Dave is going to be awesome. 

**TG: ill fill out the forms**

**TG: file the carbons**

**EB: he'll probably interrogate you**

**EB: and dad doesn't have much tact**

**EB: hello you must be dave ive heard so much about you how old are you where do you live whats your phone number have you ever dated anyone else whats your heritage are you doing well in school whats your favorite color paper or plastic**

**EB: all in one breath**

**TG: bring it on **

**TG: you'd be lucky if Bro asked your name**

**EB: i wish dad was a little more like that**

**TG: eh its cool**

**TG: so when are you gonna tell him  
EB: should i do it all at once/**

**EB: like… hey dad i'm gay heres my boyfriend **

**TG; whatever you want, dude**

**TG: im game for meeting your dad**

**EB: well… maybe i'll tell him tonight**

**EB: you wanna come over this weekend if its clear with dad?**

Oh hell yes Dave does.

**TG: yeah, cool**

**TG: tell me how it goes with your dad**

**EB: *deep breath* yeah, thanks! talk to you tomorrow**

**TG: good luck john**

Dave is mostly euphoric that John made the first date of sorts. This is cool. John logs off. Dave hopes John's dad thinks Dave is okay. He's heard before about how John's dad is the protective type. He hopefully won't hate Dave and turn him and John into Romeo and Juliet. Dave snorts to himself, somewhat nervously. He can handle impressing people his own age, but he's not always the most popular with adults. Is it his glasses? Maybe he should wear a suit or something to impress Mr. Egbert. Then he'd just look sarcastic.

Dave waits a bit to see if John comes back. He doubts he will. This will probably be an all-night ordeal.

Dave reminds himself how awesome today has been. He decides to go off to celebrate Dave and John Day with a bag of Doritos, a bowl of ice cream, and some video games. Things are looking good.

**next chapter- how will dave fare with mr. egbert? will john's dad like him?**


	7. Chapter 10

**WHAT DOES MR. EGBERT EVEN LOOK LIKE? ACK! THIS MAN HAS NO FACIAL FEATURES**

**anyway here's chapter 10! don't screw up, Dave**

**Thanks again to my followers, favoriters, reviewers and all my readers in general! **

Dave stares blankly at the mirror. Is this a date? Does trying to jump through hurdles to impress Mr. Egbert count as a date? He's over the moon anyway. But Dave is also growing nervous. He rummages through his dresser a few times until he decides on a plain black tee-shirt and black jeans. He tucks the tee-shirt into pants and wraps a belt around the pants. Very dapper, he decides. Slowly, he removes his glasses, with a sigh. It feels as out of place for him to walk around without his sunglasses as John would feel without his normal glasses. But Dave knows that the glasses tend to make a bad impression with adults.

It's Saturday morning, a bit before noon. Bro is at work, even though it's the weekend. His schedule is all over the place, and he still hasn't found a cool, ironic job in this neighborhood so he's stuck bubble-wrapping up plumbing. Dave throws on a sweatshirt and heads out. Shoving his fingers into his hands, he wanders out of the apartment complex. He takes a shaky breath in. He's never met Mr. Egbert. On the way there, he considers his conversation with John yesterday at school.

"So what did your dad say?" Dave asked, sitting with John at lunch as usual. He was half tempted to give John a kiss or something, but he reminded himself not to push it. He didn't know how much John was really into him yet. John shrugged.

"He's fine with it. But he's already insisting he meet you." Dave nodded. Terezi grinned at the two, making Dave feel more embarrassed.

Now, Dave was really hoping that Mr. Egbert wouldn't be to critical of him. No offense, Mr. E but Dave just got his dream guy and he'd really not prefer you messing that up. Dave fiddles with his collar nervously as he presses down the road, checking his phone to make sure he's following John's directions correctly. Dave and John don't live that far apart, just about on either side of the high school. Dave cuts through the school's parking lot, breaking into a bit of a jog as he continues on his way. The sun is shining but it's still a bit cold, a breeze running through the trees. Dave instinctively reaches to push his glasses up. Oh yeah. He swallows nervously.

Finally, he arrives at the Egbert house. It stands on a long row of typical suburban houses, with their white paneling and grey roofs. A white sedan is in John's driveway. Dave looks down at his phone to double-check the address. His heart starts pounding and he freezes in the driveway for a minute, before slowly pressing on. The door opens and John races out in his socks. Dave cannot even muster the brainpower to wave or nod as John comes over.

"Hi!" John says.

"Hey," Dave sputters. John grins, but Dave can't do much more than to pretend to be enraptured by the house.

"Do you want to come in? Dad will _probably _let you take a breath." Dave shifts from foot to foot. "But, really, don't worry. Dad's cool about this. Just don't, like, burn my house down or start cussing him out and it'll be fine." Dave nods uncertainly, shuffling after John as he walks inside.

Inside John's house is nicer than Dave's apartment. For one, everything is unpacked. There's a hallway where several pairs of shoes are lines neatly against the wall. Coats are hung by hooks on the wall instead of on various doorknobs like at Dave's. The hallway leads into the kitchen. It's almost unbelievable. There's not a dish in sight. Even when all the dishes are clean at Dave's, there's usually a glass or two hanging around the counters. A dishwasher hums away. John shrugs and holds his hands out slightly.

"It's nice. Cleaner than my place," Dave says quietly. John laughs.

"Well, that doesn't really surprise me. No offense." Dave shrugs. He meanders around the kitchen, staying within a few feet of John. He keeps a look out for John's dad. John sucks in his cheeks. It's hard to make conversation when they're both nervous about Dave's dad-test. John, Dave knows, is scared that Dave is going to say the wrong thing. Which makes Dave even _more _nervous, consequentially.

"Hm," says John. "Dad must be in the living room." Dave nods mechanically, taking deep breaths. His hands shake slightly. John shrugs. "You want to go?"

"Alright," Dave mumbles. He slowly scuffs after John. There, on the couch is the target. Dave looks at him. He is sitting, reading a book. He's somewhat average sized. He wears a white polo shirt and khaki pants, with a black tie. Like he just got home from the office. There's a pipe in his other hand, but it's unlit at the moment. He glances up at John and Dave.

"Hey, Dad," John says. "This is Dave." Mr. Egbert sets down his book and pipe, standing up slowly. He nods and reaches out his hand.

"Hello, David. I'm John's dad." Well, duh. Dave struggles to maintain eye contact with John's dad as he takes his hand and shakes it once.

"Hello, Mr. Egbert," Dave spits out. At least he still can speak. That's always nice. "It's nice to meet you."

"Yes, nice to meet you, too," Mr. Egbert responds slowly. "I understand you are seeing my son?" John blushes and rolls his eyes. Dave nods slowly, nearly choking on his own air.

"Yes, sir," he adds hastily. Mr. Egbert nods.

"I see," he says. "You and John have been friends since the summer?" Dave nods again.

"Yes." John was right. He feels like he may as well be in a dim room with a bare-bulb light hanging over his head as Mr. Egbert paces the floor, rubbing his chin as he interrogates Dave like he's a criminal.

"Well," Mr. Egbert says after a moment, "I certainly hope we can get along, David." Wait, what? Is that it? Did Dave get cut a break? "Tell me a bit about yourself." Nope.

"Well, uh," Dave stammers, holding the back of his neck. He glances over at John, who's watching him. "I'm in a lot of John's classes… and I like to write music… and, uh…" Dave scrambles for something to say, "John and I have a lot of the same friends at school and stuff. And, yeah, we've been talking since summer and we just, like, uh, got along 'n' stuff." Oh, Dave. You are _so _charismatic. Mr. Egbert must just be _hanging _on your every word. Dave takes his eyes off John and looks back at Mr. Egbert. He nods.

"Well, you seem like a nice enough boy, David," he says after a moment. Dave exhales quietly. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too, sir," Dave says. Mr. Egbert picks up his book and pipe.

"I'll let you boys be. If you need anything, I'll be upstairs." He walks off. Dave looks at John. John looks at Dave. John grins.

"That wasn't so bad, right?" He asks.

"Nah," Dave says. Seriously, though. That was terrifying. Dave's so glad that's over. But it seems as though he passed. Now he has the rest of the day with John.

Somehow, this restores the panic he felt earlier.

**next chapter- So Mr. Egbert's chill with Dave but now Dave has to work on impressing his actual ****_boyfriend. _****Is Dave actually any good at the game of love? **


	8. Chapter 11

**aww i broke my daily chapter streak D: i had a LIFE for once! no fun XD **

**so my friends requested i write a JohnDave where John is a male pole dancer and... you know what... I'm just gonna stop talking about that right here**

**um... not much to say besides thanks for so many follows and faves and reviews and overall reads. this chapter was written twice and i think it might be my favorite so far ;3 so enjoy**

Dave sighs in relief. It's nice that he has the rest of the day with John. But what can he do? He's gotta impress John. Yeah. He nonchalantly checks his wallet. Ten buck. Damn it. Stupid! Should've begged Bro for a twenty. Of course, then Bro would demand what it was for. Dave tries to determine if in that situation Bro would be easier on him if he told him it was for drugs. Anyway, Dave has ten dollars and a boyfriend to impress.

"Wanna hit a McDonald's or something?" Or the love of all things ironic…. McDonald's? Not even, like, a Dairy Queen or something, Dave? The Golden Arches?! Dave looks over at John. "It's on me."

"Aw, really? I can pay for myself."

"Nope. I'm paying. Because I am the man in this relationship," Dave teases. John laughs then shrugs.

"Fine. Lemme ask Dad." Haha! Date number uno, and only three days in! Dave Strider you are on _fire_! John disappears upstairs for a minute. Dave checks his phone to fly Terezi a message, but she's not on Pesterchum. Oh well. That's not what's important right now. John bounds back downstairs.

"Dad says it's fine." Dave nods coolly. Hell yeah. This is gonna be the best visit to McDonald's ever. Just you wait, John. You want nuggets? You'll get nuggets. You want a McFlurry? You'll get your McFlurry, and an apple pie, too. Because that's just how Dave roll.

Dave and John walk to McDonald's. After a few minutes of nervous debating, Dave offers his hand to John. John blushes, then smirks and takes it, looking at his feet. There's a freaking office party up in Dave's brain. Those son of bitch brain cells are on yet another vacation but that's okay because he doesn't need them anyway. John's soft hand is in his and the world is freaking butterflies and unicorns right now. They stop in front of the McDonald's. John drops his hand to grab the door. Dave follows him, meandering up to the line. He looks up at the people at the front of the line.

Heh, they kinda look like-

"Just tell me what the hell you want or you'll get jack shit, okay?"

Oh. God. _Damn. _It.

"_Fiiine. _I guess I'll get one of those ice cream cup thingies. Unless you want me to go home, Karkat?" Karkat turns to gaze intensely at Terezi.

"No! Fuck! We walked all the way here and I'm gonna get you food!" Dave turns to John to tell him he always liked Burger King better anyway, but John's gone.

"Hey guys!" John is over with the other two. Crap! This sucks! Karkat wheels around, his eyes already firey from arguing with Terezi.

"Oh, shit," Karkat hisses. "It's _you _two. Out on a little gay date or whatever?" Terezi kicks him in the shins.

"Hello, John! Dave? She wanders over to you, bumping into an obese guy that gives her a dirty look. "Hi!"

"Hey," you grumble. Karkat lets loose a few random cusses before ordering Terezi just about every dessert item on the menu.

"Let's get a table together!" John! What the hell are you doing? No!

Someday, in ten year when Dave and John are living in Aberdeen with four lovely blond daughters and a German shepherd, he will most likely look back on this first date and laugh. Right now, though. Dave is _not _laughing. Dave is standing in line thinking _oh shit he's actually gonna make me do this, isn't he_? Dave likes his irony and all, but this kind of crap is just annoying.

"Are you and Dave on a _date_?" Terezi drawls, grinning at John as Karkat shoves a paper bag into her hands. She grabs it, not even bothering to look at Karkat. John laughs, and holds the back of his head.

"Well, I guess, kinda. Yeah," he mutters, smiling his trademark idiot smile.

"Cool!"

"Me and Terezi are on a date," Karkat snaps defensively, like this actually matters to anyone.

"You're not even my _boyfriend_." Terezi snaps back. Karkat frowns silently.

"Hey, what do you want, John?" Dave asks. "You and Terezi you can go find a table or whatever and I'll bring you your food." Yes. Supportive mode. As much Dave does _not _want to make their date into a normal school day at lunch, what John wants goes.

"Um… just a Big Mac meal with a coke." Dave nods. Karkat glares at you. Whatever.

Dave brings back a tray of food to the booth where him and Terezi are sitting. At least he isn't a big enough moron to sit on Terezi's side. Dave sits with him and gives him his food. He's already engulfed in a conversation with Terezi. Dave needs to turn John's attention back to him or else he's going to explode.

"So John," Dave says conversationally. "You need to come over and meet Bro sometimes when he's not buried in his headphones. Which might be never." John smiles.

"Well yeah! But right now we getta chill without parents or brothers or whatever." Yeah. Instead they get to chill with Karkat instead. Dave would prefer to have to sit down to tea with Mr. Egbert than deal with Karkat's crap for his first date.

"_Kaaaar-kat_," Terezi says. "Where are the M-n-M's?" Karkat's face pales a bit.

"M-n-M's?"

"In my _ice cream_," Terezi drawls. Karkat snatches up her ice cream and goes to get her a new one with reflexes Dave has never seen before.

The rest of lunch is basically just a normal school day lunch- at McDonald's. Dave doesn't care. It's his first date with John. After a while, they go, leaving Terezi to finish her banquet of calorie-filled crap. Dave walks John home silently, holding his hand again. That could have been better, but it could have been worse. After all, Mr. Egbert could have always thrown Dave out of the house on his ass.

"See you at school on Monday?" John asks. Dave nods. The hover for a moment, a little ways from John's doorstep. Suddenly, John kisses Dave. Quickly, hardly even hitting his lips. Dave's entire face flushes red, and so does John's. "S-sorry."

"No…," Dave sputters. "It's cool." John laughs.

"That was really… like… movie-y. Outside on the first date and stuff. It just felt like… it's what your supposed to do."

"Y-yeah," Dave laughs. There is silence for a minute. "So… see you on Monday?"

"Right!"

Dave has to consciously force himself not to skip home.

**next chapter- does anything really important happen? or will there just be enough fluff to give you diabetes? idk!**


	9. Chapter 12

**ugh they're taking me out of my computer lab study hall! I always get one chapter posted during the study haaaaaall uwaaaah. Oh well ( T.T)/ this fanfiction shall live on!**

**This chapter… hum… If it were titled like one of Karkat's movies I suppose it might be titled "In which a stretch of time passes, Dave bullshits at a park with some friends for a while, has a chat with Bro, followed by a pointless filler date between John and Dave because I wanted to write something cute" **

**Enjoy chapter 12, everyone**

The next day at school, all is normal. Dave feels like he has a giant weight taken off his shoulder, to the point that he feels almost like he can fly. Of course, he cannot fly and he does not intend to attempt to fly because that would bring this lovely situation to a close.

The next week passes by as well, easily. Terezi, John and Dave are chilling at the park. Karkat, according to Terezi, is on his way. Dave sits atop the monkey bars, holding John's hand as he sits next to him. They haven't been dating wrong, but they have already fallen into a rhythm. They've only kissed on more time since their first date, when Dave walked John home one afternoon. All in all, it's pretty cool. The late October wind tousles Dave's hair as he squints to see the shape of Karkat walking over. Ever since he realized he wasn't at risk of Dave stealing Terezi from him, he's cooled down around Dave.

"So guys," Dave says, as Karkat silently wanders over and sits down on the rusty swing, causing it to creak loudly. "I was thinking I'd throw a party on Halloween. Probably just us, so not really a party. More just like hanging out." Terezi nods.

"That sounds cool! Didja ask your bro?"

"Yeah, he's fine with it as long as we don't burn the place down or draw on the walls and crap. Figure we can watch some crappy horror movies and eat candy or something 'til late."

"Yeah!" Says John. "That'd be fun!" Karkat shuffles around slightly. Terezi wanders over and wraps her arms around his left arm. She still won't admit to dating him because she claims to be waiting for Karkat to ask her. They'll probably grow old and die before Karkat will ever let the words _I love you _escape his lips.

Around six Dave gets a text from Bro saying that Dave better get his ass home before the pizza is gone, so he bids the gang farewell, give John a quick, awkward kiss goodbye, and is off. On the way home, his mind is for the most part empty.

He slams the door shut. A box of half-eaten pepperoni pizza is on the small card table in the kitchen. The card table is basically for holding food because Dave and Bro don't actually use the kitchen for eating. Dave grabs a slice, throws it onto a plate and wanders into the living room, where Bro is watching television.

"Sup," Dave says. Bro shrugs.

"Work is driving me fucking nuts. I hate that shit."

"Then get a new job."

'That's not the way the world works, Dave."

'That's the way it's always worked for you," Dave protests, taking another bite. He chews and swallows before continuing. "When you get tired of a place, you just up and leave and find something else."

"Yeah, well maybe we should up and leave again."

"No way!" Dave cries instantly. "I actually like a place for once! We can't leave." Bro holds his hands up in defeat.

"Alright, alright. I'll look for a better job here."

"Why can't you just keep the one you've got?" Bro glares at Dave.

"I don't want to spend the rest of my life checking off forms to say that pipes are ready to be sent to go attach to toilets. That's not exactly my dream job."

"But we're not moving right?"

"I guess not"

"Bro," Dave pleads. "I've got awesome friends, and an awesome boyfriend. We can't move."

"Chill _out." _Bro sighs. "I already said we won't. When has Bro ever let you down?"

"The time you left the supermarket because you thought I was with you and I was really in the candy isle and by the time you realized I'd practically shit myself and was bawling because I thought you left me?"

"That was when you were, like, five. And besides that has nothing to do with my promises." Dave nods slowly.

The next day is Saturday, and it is Dave's third date with John, the third Saturday that they have been dating. That makes it Dave's third week dating John. That makes it twenty-one of the best days of Dave's life. Even better than when Bro bought him his laptop. Halloween is next Friday, and Dave is totally pumped to throw the coolest mini-party thing ever. He considered inviting some of the other people he's met at school like that stand-offish, nerdy kid Sollux or the excitable girl, Jade. But he decides to keep it down to his best friends. Karkat, admittedly, is not exactly the definition of _best friend _but the group is not a complete set without him.

Currently, Dave and his object of affection are sitting at a booth in an IHOP. It's about ten, so they're ordering breakfast. John is stacking up coffee creamers like a five year old, which Dave teases him for. He sips at his apple juice, waiting for his pancakes to arrive. This week, John insists it's on him since you paid for lunch at Applebee's last week, which Dave reluctantly accepts.

"So," John says, after he finishes his tower. He takes a sip of his coffee. "Who have you dated before?" Dave pauses mid-sip at the question. He pulls away from his drink.

"Huh?"  
"Well, I was just kinda wondering." Dave shrugs, swirling his straw around.

"Well, I dated this chick last year for like… half of a week but she was clingy and weird and that's when I realized I probably didn't actually like girls." John nods.

"I never really even dated anyone. I had a kind of had a crush on some girl I met on the internet for a while but she lives off in like… Nevada or something I don't even remember. But she wasn't into me. And then I liked Karkat for a while and I realized I was gay." Dave nods. There's quiet for a while, and their breakfasts are delivered. They eat for a while, until John catches Dave looking at him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Dave says quickly, cutting a chunk out of his stack of pancakes. "You know," he says quietly after a while. "I'm really glad I moved here." John grins and sets his fork down.

"I'm really glad you moved here, too.." Dave pauses. Should he say it? It's only been three weeks and… oh screw it.

"I love you."

"I love you, too, Dave."

**DI-A-BE-TES**

**Next chapter- Halloween party! (lol it's the middle of the winter what am I doing with Halloween. Ah well, its an awesome holiday) **


	10. Chapter 13

***washes up on coast* … what…. what…. is *cough cough* is it that I have internet onc again? Dear God, it is! Sorry for the wait. Romance! *throws petals* Drama! *clutches chest* All leading up to even more drama! Just realized the halloween party is on chapter thirteen omigod that's such a coincidence. I hate it. Its stupid. Oh well.**

After school on Friday, Dave walks to the grocery store with Terezi to buy food for their not-really-a-party that night. John couldn't come until later because of something he was doing with his relatives or whatever for dinner and Karkat was busy because "grumble mumble grumble" or whatever it was he was trying to say.

Dave tosses a bag of corn chips into the basket as Terezi pushes it. She insisted. She's hit it into things several times. Several people as well. Dave's not entirely sure that she's having any trouble navigating his way. She just seems to want to hit people with her cart. "So," Dave says, comparing two containers of salsa before haphazardly tossing one of them into the carriage, "How's things with Karkat." Terezi snorts. "Oh, come of it, TZ. You two have basically been dating as long as John and I."

"Hmmph," she sniffs. "Well you saw at McDonald's how he acts."

"He bought you the entire damn desert menu."

"Only after griping about it. You know, he's basically just a big baby."

"So what's the big appeal about him that you're so determined to get him to _stop _being a gigantic prick?" Dave says, rolling his eyes as she rams her cart into an end cap, which makes her laugh. Dave cleans up boxes of Wheat Thins off the floor, avoiding angry glares from the workers.

"Well," Terezi says. "I could go into all my big stupid feelings about the _Oh but he's really a good guy _and all that but I'll spare you." Dave shrugs. She grins. "But enough of that. How have things been going with you and John?"

"About the same," Dave said, blushing slightly. "You know. Just hanging out after school sometimes and going out on weekends and all that." Terezi giggles. A text comes from Bro asking Dave to buy him some booze. Dave reminds him that Dave's fifteen. Text comes from Bro asking Dave to steal him some booze. Dave says he'll buy him some soda, but he's not going to jail for trying to smuggle a six pack under his jacket. Bro gripes about the lack of alcohol and how that's what he really needs.

"What's wrong?" Dave texts.

"Work." Bro texts. A minute later a second text comes. "Want me to work overtime tomorrow."

'That sucks," Dave responds. Without much more thought about it, he returns to filling his carriage with a large assortment in the finest of heart-clogging shit.

"Well," Dave says. "Considering I asked John to handle the movie list for tonight out of courtesy you and Karkat should have plenty of time to talk." Terezi snorts.

"Amen to that," she says. "Is he actually bringing anything, like, _Halloween _themed?"

"The best thing he'll probably bring is Ghostbusters. And if we want to watch that he'll probably insist we watch one of his God awful romances first."

"Well that will give you plenty of bonding time," Terezi teases, offering him a carton of ice cream. Dave blushes and throws it into the carriage. But he totally hopes Terezi is right.

John arrives a bit before seven. It's already starting to get dark outside. He's juggling five or six CD cases. Dave takes them and rifles through them before greeting him. Ghostbusters, as promised. Several other movies. They all seem to be crappy adventures or romances. "No, like, horror?" John frowns.

"Hello, Dave," John snaps. Dave grins and kisses John. Terezi emerges from the kitchen where she is working the oven, heating up a frozen pizza. She loves, you've figured out, doing things that people wouldn't want a blind girl doing. She likes to prove she can. She waves.

"Hiya, John," she says.

"Hey Terezi." John looks around. "Where's Bro?"

"He's in his room. In a crappy mood cause of work I guess." John nods. They settle in the living room with glasses filled with cola and bowls overflowing with Doritos. John leans up against Dave and starts the moving, making Dave blush. After a while, there's still no Karkat. Terezi is texting him for the beginning of the movie.

"He's finally on his way," she says after a while. "Apparently he was 'busy.' Yeah right." Dave and John laugh, and return to watching Ghostbusters. Dave weaves his hand into John while they sit on the couch together. Dave glances over at Terezi. She sticks her tongue out at him and laughs, but he can tell that she's getting annoyed with Karkat.

After a while, the door slams open and Karkat lets himself in. He slams it shut and throws himself down on the couch next to Terezi.

"Ya heard of knocking?" Dave snaps icily. Karkat looks at him blankly, his expression glazed, then laughs a bit. He throws his arm around Terezi.

"The hell, Karkat?"

"What?" He snaps. Terezi pauses. Then she jumps back.

"Are you _drunk_?" She snaps. Karkat laughs and shrugs. "You're _drunk_? Karkat, you're _fifteen!" _Karkat stares.

"So?" He snaps. You and John sit up and stare at him.

"Why the hell are you drunk?" Terezi snaps, her voice raising an octave.

"Cause that's what happens when you drink booze, T'ezzy," he grumbles, then laughs as though he's the best comedian ever.

"Why," Terezi hisses through gritted teeth, "would you _drink_?" Karkat frowns and stares at her. "Well?"

"Ugh, I'm sorry I came," Karkat snaps, throwing his hands up. "I don't need this!" He storms up and out. Terezi runs after him.

"Get the hell back here, you son of a bitch!" She shrieks, racing after him. The door slams shut. It is deathly quiet. Dave looks at John.

"Is…. is that typical?" He asks. John stares at the door, shaking his head slowly. Terezi comes back in, and throws herself down on the couch, biting her lip to avoid tears. The rest of the night is deathly quiet and the party

**next chapter; THIS IS AN INTERVENTION, KARKAT. probably not, actually. **


	11. Chapter 14

***wanted an excuse to have dave bond with karkat* yeah that's pretty much it. THINGS HAPPEN THIS CHAPTER, GUYS!**

Karkat's not at school on Monday. Dave sits with Terezi who is furiously staring at her phone. "Are you alright?" Dave asks slowly.

She frowns. "Apparently his old _buddy _came over with a six pack and he decided what the hell. You know," she hisses, shoving her phone aggressively into her pocket, "people think it's stupid I get all up in a knot about kids doing drugs. But you know what? I have no sight and I would do anything to get it back. These kids are doing drugs that could kill them and they don't even _care_. It just makes me angry that people would throw their lives away. They're taking their health for granted." She crossed her arms. "Sorry," she adds.

"Don't be sorry," Dave says. He awkwardly pats her back. "Has he talked to you much?"

"Yeah a couple apologies but I asked him what _else _he's been doing besides drinking last night and I haven't heard from him yet," she sighs, holding her head in the tips of her fingers. "This is shit. I'm sorry he ruined last night." Dave shrugs.

"I'm sorry he's being a douche to you." Terezi shrugs, but Dave knows she's upset.

On the way home, a shadowy figure walks up to Dave. "The hell, Karkat?" Dave hisses. Karkat smiles pathetically. "The fuck do you want, douchebag?" Karkat sighs.

"Look I'm sorry about last night."

"Fuck, I don't care. Terezi's the one you should be apologizing to." Karkat walks with Dave, which Dave bitterly notes that he didn't sign up for.

"Well, look. I need help."

"I'll say."

"No, really. I don't know. I… I can't tell John and I don't want to piss Terezi off any more. Hear me out for a minute."

"Fine," Dave spits.

"Well… I don't know if Terezi told you… but," Karkat trails off. Dave pulls his sunglasses down his nose and gives Karkat a dead look. Karkat glances at his blood-colored eyes several times, then at his pale, grey-ish white skin. It's not exactly a health complexion that the boy has. He holds the back of his neck. "I used to do some pretty bad shit last year. My mom died and my dad's a huge alcoholic now. So I started drinking his shit after a while because, you know, I wondered. And I didn't do it all that much. But some of the kids at school got word that I was doing it. Suddenly I had these weird 'friends', people that just came out of the woodwork. They would pay me money to give them vodka, booze, all that stuff. Dad was usually to drunk to know I was taking his crap, he didn't really keep track. I didn't even drink it most of that time. But one guy couldn't pay me back but he seemed pretty okay so I told him he could pay me double next time. So on Halloween he came by with a couple Guinnesses. I don't know why I would even…," he held his head. "I don't even sell anymore cause Dad's actually been getting his shit together and started actually wondering where his bottles were going." Karkat looks over at Dave, who's staring at him.

"Man, that sucks," Dave says. "But why the hell would you-"

"I don't know! Well, selling I did cause it was a good way to make money without actually _doing _anything. But I mean… Terezi said she wouldn't date me while I was "drug dealing" as she called it so I swore I'd stop."

"Well," Dave says flatly. "Then don't do it anymore, you retard." He gave karkat a sympathetic pat on the back. "You wanna come over? My Bro's working late, but I don't think he'll mind." Karkat smiles slightly.

"Thanks, Dave. You know, you aren't so bad."

"Thanks," Dave mumbles. He arrives at his apartment. Karkat frowns.

"I'm really sorry I fucked shit up yesterday." Dave shrugs. Really, he's kinda pissed that last night didn't go so great but he also feels bad for Karkat. Bro sometimes falls short as a guardian but at least he's not an alcoholic or something. Dave unlocks the door.

"Well, we'll just do it again some time and you can come on time and not drunk and stuff and it'll be fine," Dave offers. Karkat nods uncertainly.

"I should probably send Terezi a couple more apologies," he mutters, tapping things into his phone. Dave frowns. Bro is asleep on the couch. He jabs him in the back.

"Bro?" Bro's dead to the world. One doesn't wake up Bro when Bro wants to sleep. He's stubborn, even when he is not conscious. Dave will have to ask Bro why he's not working late like he said when he raises from the dead. Since Bro is taking up the couch, that leaves Dave and Karkat to sit on the floor. He offers Karkat a remote for the Xbox. Karkat frowns.

"I've broken two of those. I get really pissed."

"Well don't get pissed," Dave responds simply. For some reason he feels like being nice to Karkat. He admittedly feels bad for the kid. Karkat's lip twitches slightly, almost smiling. Being trusted must feel nice for someone who is extremely hard to trust, even by himself.

They play a few rounds of racing, and Dave lets Karkat win most of them. The controller remains in Karkat's hands. Karkat frowns.

"I better get home. Dad's gonna be home from work soon and I don't wanna explain where I've been," he says, rolling his eyes. Dave nods.

"Take care of yourself, alright? Don't do anything retarded."

"Got it," Karkat says and smiles. "Thanks Dave. For not being a douche." Dave pushes his glasses up on his nose and shrugs.

"You should try it some time," he teases, grinning. Karkat laughs and shrugs, then leaves.

Dave stares at the door for a minute, before going back to the living room.

"Bro. Brobrobrobro. _Bro! _Broooooooo!" He hollers. Bro stirs. Dave shakes his head around enough to probably snap his neck. "Bro!"  
"The hell, Dave!" Bro grumbles, sitting up. Dave crosses his arms.

"Did they let you come home early?" Bro snorts.

"Yeah. Like, forever." Dave's arms fall to his sides.

"You got fired?" He cries.

"Oh not fired. Apparently it's called 'laid off.'" Bro spits in a mocking tone.

"Th-they just hired you!"

"I know! Don't tell me!" Bro flops back down on the couch. "I'm sorry little man, I know you like it here. I'll do my best and all that."

"But we'll probably have to move."

"We might."

Dave storms off to his room. Bro starts to say something, then sighs. Dave buries his face in his pillow, then angrily takes it and throws it across the room. It bounces off his computer, nearly knocking it over, then lands in his chair.

Daaaaaamn it!


	12. Chapter 15

**(~:A:)~ this chapter is dedicated to my moirail who had to move a couple years ago. everything dave does in this chapter is basically based on her here XD**

"C'mon, if you don't get up, you're going to be late."

"I don't wanna go to school," Dave mutters through a faceful of pillow. Bro hovers over him.

"Well, then you're retarded. If you might have limited time with these people why would you stay home and wallow in your own misery all day?" Dave very much wants to contradict Bro, but doesn't. He dramatically falls out of his bed, then shambles over to his dresser and pulls out a shirt and jeans.

"Ungh, I can't believe you got fired," Dave snaps. Bro sighs.

"Well, believe it. We've got the rent paid for November, so at least there's that."

"Why don't we go on welfare or some shit?"

"Yeah, because they'll really give welfare to someone with two Macintosh laptops and a flatscreen television, Dave. I can try and get unemployment but I think what I really need is a job."

"Well, maybe you should have just stayed at your last one," Dave snaps icily. "So none of this crap would have ever _happened_, Bro." Bro sighs, stares at Dave blankly for a minute, then leaves Dave's room.

Dave is pissed at him. Royally pissed. Maybe it's misdirected but hell if he cares. Bro can go jump off a cliff for all he cares. If they have to move, Dave will just get on a train like an old fashioned hobo and sleep in John's gutters or something. He is _not _leaving.

Dave gets to school as quickly as possible so he has time to find John. He runs up to him in a very uncool manner. "John!"

"Dave? Something wrong?"

"Fucking Bro lost his job."

"W-what?"

"We're going to have to move."

"B-but you just freaking got here!" John groans. "You're joking, right?" Dave shakes his head. "Aw, Dave, no way!" John hugs him, despite the fact that they're surrounded by others. Dave doesn't care. He hugs John back and buries his head in John's shoulder.

"This sucks smuppets," he hisses.

John and him hug tightly for a decidedly uncool amount of time. "Well maybe he'll find a job nearby, right?" John offers. Dave shrugs.

"I hope so."

After school you text Bro that you're going over John's. You're still majorly pissed at him. Terezi tried to remind you that it's not his fault at lunch.

"It's not fair anyway," you snapped back. "I've always had to move around all my life when he gets bored somewhere. I just never minded much until now. I'm sick of it." Terezi shrugged.

"At least he's trying to get something nearby for you," she said, sipping her chocolate milk. Dave was going to miss talking to her everyday while she ate her extremely unhealthy lunch. He was even going to miss slinging insults back and forth with Karkat.

Now, he walks home with John, staring at his feet. "I'm going to miss you if I gotta move," he says. "This really, really, blows,' he adds. He's mentioned this several times throughout the day. John nods.

"I'll miss you two. You'll be on Pesterchum and stuff, right?"

"Yeah," Dave agrees. "And Bro said he'll try to drive me down here on the weekends if we don't move to far." John nods.

"That's cool," he says.

"Sorta," Dave mutters. John stops and hugs him.

"It'll be cool! We'll still be dating, right?"

"Yeah," said Dave weakly. John kissed him, but Dave was far too miserable to appreciate it. Dave walks with John to his home. Air is cold and Dave wishes he had worn a sweatshirt today. John is texting.

"Who's that?"

"Oh, you know that kid, Sollux? He's in my PE and we've been talking."

"Oh," Dave says, somewhat flatly. John shrugs.

"He kinda creeps me out. I think he's, like, bipolar or something. And possibly on drugs."

"Then why do you talk to him?" John shrugs.

"Well I don't want to be rude." Dave shrugs.

"Well if he gets weird, then you let me no." John rolls his eyes.

"I don't need you to protect me, Dave."

'Yeah but I like to think you do, Egbert," Dave says, punching John in the arm as they went into John's house.

Dave got home around eight. Bro was on the couch, watching television. "How was your day?" Dave scowls at him, and storms off into his room.

"Whatever," Bro says. "Look, I found an awesome job. But it's like an hour away from here."

"Shut up," Dave calls from his room. Bro is outside the door.

"Can we be adults about this?"

"Hell no we can't."

"Well, whatever. I did an online interview for the job today. I don't know if I'm getting it or not. But if I am, we'll be out of here in probably a week or two. I can give you the school if you wanna look for friends online again."

"No," Dave snaps.

"Dave, c'mon, I'm sorry. Shit happens."

"Fuck you."

"Whatever," Bro mutters. "Be a baby."

"I hate you."

'Alright."

Dave sat down at his computer. He had a new chum request. _twinArmageddons_. Dave frowns, and accepts it. It's probably some forty-year old pedophile. Oh well. They're online. Dave shrugs.

**TG: so who the hell's this?**

**TA: 2ollux**

**TG: oh **

**TG: hey i guess**

**TA: hey**

Dave didn't even know how he'd gotten his Pesterchum, but whatever. Dave actually might have given it to him a while ago. Sometimes Sollux sat with them at lunch sometimes, but never really talked all that much. John was right. He was one creepy son of a bitch.

**TG: something up?**

**TA: nah. ju2t forgot to add you when you gave me your handle**

**TG: oh**

Dave rolls his eyes and walks away from his computer. He doesn't want to deal with this right now. He has to go figure out how to, like, sell his soul or something.


	13. Chapter 16

**Don't have much to say except thanks as always! **

**WELP I dedicated the last chapter to my best friend, ThePandaHero, and now i'm basically out of friends to dedicate things to ._. **

The worst part of something you don't want to happen is it usually does, it's almost never late, in fact, it comes with surprising punctuality. The next two days slip through Dave's fingers like sand. Sand that hates Dave, and very much wants to get out of his hands. Dave stares in disbelief at his room, which he had just about finished unpacking last week. "I take it you got the job," he snaps icily. Bro nods. "Who said you could go through my shit?" Bro sighed.

"I won't help you next time, then," he mutters. "I'm sorry, Dave. I know this sucks. Trust me, I wouldn't be going if we didn't have to."

"I don't want your help," Dave snarled. "You never help me when I need it, Dirk. You never have." It's rare you call Bro by his name. Kind of how he wouldn't really call you _David, _you just kept the "cool" thing going and called him Bro. He doesn't say anything. "You just keep floating along, and you drag me behind you like I'm some crappy balloon that'll just keep following you, and you just let me keep bumping into shit while you frolic around doing _whatever the hell you want_."

"Dave, this isn't my fault."

"Maybe not getting fired. But every other god damn thing that's happened to us has been your fault since Mom and Dad died!"

"Hey!" Bro snaps. "You don't even know what this has been like for me, kid! For God's sake, Dave, I'm a twenty-six year old man! I should be getting drunk and meeting girls and going to college! I could very well shove you into a foster home and leave your life just like that!" He snaps his fingers. "But I do my best for you! I'm making mistakes because I'm not a parent, kid. I do irresponsible stuff, I know. And I'm _sorry _for this. I feel _bad_. But could you at least give me an ounce of credit, Dave?" Dave blinks, and realizes he's holding his breath. Bro sighs. "Pack your stuff up," Bro mutters, and then leaves the room, shutting the door softly.

Dave considered going after him, but decided against it. He considered what Bro said for a moment, then looked at the half-packed boxes. He sighed shakily. This whole situation was utter crap. He sighed and tossed his iPod into a box of books and video games. He throws a few more random objects into random boxes, like he usually does when he's moving. "I hate my life," he grumbles a few times, hardly above a whisper.

Dave really hasn't had much fun in the past six years. His parents died when he was nine, and Dirk was twenty. Dirk had run off with a buddy to go try and make some money off their music. But when their parents died, he'd come back to Texas instantly, and had stayed there with Dave. Once the funerals were over and stuff, they lived with Dirk's friend for a while, but the whole thing went bust after two or three months. Nine year old Dave was carted off to Iowa. Then Florida. Then California. Then Rhode Island. Then they hopped around the New England area for three or so years, the years that Dave was in middle school, then back to Texas, then finally up to Washington, now.

Dave had liked moving, like his brother. He made friends easily and liked the change of scenery as much as Bro. But somewhere around the Rhode Island mark, he got tired of it. He had a best friend named Rose there, and it was the first time he'd ever gotten close with anyone he'd been friends with. Bro, of course, got bored with Rhode Island and started checking out what was up in New York.

"Oh for God's sake, Bro, can't we just settle down?" Twelve year old Dave had snapped. Bro shrugged.

"What's the point? There's a lot to see, little man." Dave rolled his eyes. He hadn't realized how hard it was going to be to stay friends with Rose online. The girl and him talked a lot at first. But she started only being on every few days, and eventually once a week and then one day she just stopped being online all together. Something to do with how she'd joined a debate team and gotten a girlfriend. Dave didn't join clubs, didn't settle down like other people did. While he watched Rose's life go on without him he realized that he didn't want to keep speeding past other people while they stood still, like Bro liked so much.

In New York, Dave joined the basketball team. He was pretty good at it and made a few friends on the team, as well as some fans. Whoop, off to Connecticut after less than two months.

Dave started resenting Bro for moving all around. "Bro, can't we just _stay _somewhere for a while?" He pleaded. Bro actually agreed, which surprised Dave. They moved back to Texas when Dave was thirteen. They spent about a year and a half there, before Bro started getting antsy. His job was cutting his benefits and he was getting annoyed with it. "It's fine," Dave said. "We can move again, if you want." So, somehow, Bro decided on where they were now, in Washington.

Now, looking at the familiar sight of moving boxes, Dave trudges out into the kitchen, where Bro is jabbing at the spaghetti he's making. Bro's actually making food. Tonight really is serious. "Hey, Bro," Dave says. "I'm sorry for being a jerk."

"Nah," Bro replies not looking up. "I get where you're coming from. I remember when I was your age. Would have hated it if Mom and Dad had kept jolting me around. He shrugged. "I'll try to make this the last move."

"Unless we can move back here," Dave says pointedly.

"If that's what you want by then, then sure," Bro says, ignoring the pasta until it boils over, causing him to have a fit of cursing. He gets the situation under control and turns his head slightly towards Dave. "You gonna let me help you through this, kid?"

"Sure," Dave says with a shrug. He starts heading back to his room. "Hey, Bro?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for not leaving me behind when I was a kid."

"Eh," Bro shrugs. "Sometimes you make me feel like I should regret it. But, you know, whatever. I don't."


	14. Chapter 17

**Dave, Sollux is amazing, shut up.**

**I apologize if some people here dont like the KAREZI that THEPANDAHERO demanded I added e.e **

"Hey, John, so did you hear about how…" Sollux rambles. Dave glares at him. He's been sitting with them all week. He feels like John is trying to replace him already, before he's even gone. But he won't say it out loud. Dave reaches over and holds John's hand. Today's his last day at school, and tomorrow is his last day in town. John and him are going out for lunch, and then spending the day at John's, since Dave's place is basically empty. John leans up against Dave slightly. Practically everyone in school knows they're dating at this point, so screw not being all lovey-dovey at school. Dave Strider does what he wants.

Except for when Bro makes him move away from his friends. "So," Sollux says chattily. Dave can. Not. Stand. Sollux. Terezi blames it off on him being afraid that John is trying to make a new "Dave", which she assures him is not happening. Dave says it has nothing to do with that, that Sollux is just a motor-mouthed douchebag with an annoying lisp. His _so _sounds more like _tho_. Listening to him talk makes Dave want to throw things. He realizes whatever the idiot was rambling about was directed at him.

"Huh?"

"I said," Sollux says, "So today's your last day?"

"Yeah," Dave snaps. So you can celebrate on Monday, kid. Dave is freaking out that Sollux is going to steal John from him. Terezi reminds him that Sollux has an online girlfriend that he often prattles about. Dave reminds her that that means nothing.

Yeah, so maybe Dave is freaking out. Whatever. He defensively inches closer to John and works extremely hard to exclude Sollux as much as possible. He turns his attention to Terezi.

"Okay, so since today's my last day here," Dave said coolly, "And Terezi helped me I'm going to help you two." He waves a Swedish fish at Terezi and Karkat.

"What the hell do you-," Karkat starts.

"Karkat, all the girl wants is you to tell her how you really feel. And it might be sappy or whatever to you, but it matters to her so can't you?"

"I shouldn't have to!" Karkat snaps. "She knows how I fucking feel and she keeps playing these stupid games with me!"

"Karkat, seriously it's not like it would kill you," Terezi mutters, her face reddening. "To just be honest with me."

"Fuck off," Karkat says irritably. Terezi pauses for a minute, then stands up. "Fine," she snaps. Dave blinks. Whoops.

"Terezi!"

"Shut up, Karkat."

"Terezi fucking wait!"

"I don't have anything else to say to you."

"But I have something I gotta say to you so hold your fucking horses for a minute!"

"What did you want to say?" Terezi snaps, turning around, and crossing her arms. Dave frowns, not entirely sure how he got stuck in the middle of this. Karkat swallows.

"Well, fuck, I…," he turns around and crosses his arms, so he's not looking at Terezi, "I really like you and when I think about you I think about how I wanna spend the rest of my life with you and how I hope you'll put up with me when we have six kids and I accidentally let one of them, like, shit on the floor or something. I wanna move to, like, a crappy suburban house that we can barely afford on our crappy salaries but that'll be okay. When I look at you, I think about how much I want to, like, argue with you about whether or not I got the right brand of bread and get so mad that I end up sleeping on the couch and the next morning we're washing dishes together like nothing ever fucking happened. When I look at you I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, and I want you to put up with my crap and I want to put up with yours. And that's all the stupid shit that goes through my mind whenever I look at you and that's why I don't fucking know what to say, okay?" Terezi pauses. She stares, and then she laughs. Lightly at first, and then she's dying. "Stop fucking laughing at me!"

"Oh, Karkles, you stupid bastard," she hisses, and hugs him.

Dave frowns. Glad _they _could get _their _happy ending. The lunch bell rings. Dave hugs John tightly. "Dave," John coughs. "You're choking me, man." Dave hugs him tighter.

"Good," he snaps. "I don't get to hug you much more so I have to put as much hug into this hug as I possibly can." John laughs and hugs him back.

"I'm going to miss you, Dave," he says quietly. Dave sighs.

"Yeah," he mutters. "I'll see you later."

Dave wakes up to Bro throwing articles of clothing at him. He groans as a pair of jeans slaps him across the face. "Your friends are here," Bro says, hurling a pair of socks at Dave. Dave gets up and picks up the clothes. He stares at the boxes all over his room, then scowls in disgust.

"So I take it nothing has changed? We're still moving," Dave mutters. Bro nods. "Great." Bro sighs, but doesn't apologize. That's fine, because Dave is sick of hearing him apologize all hours of the day. Dave wanders out to the kitchen.

John, Terezi, and Karkat have arrived and have seemingly brought a large store bought cake. Oh, and for some reason the lisping douche is hovering around behind them. Stupid Sollux. John runs over and practically knocks him over with a hug.

"Jesus, John," Dave mutters, but holds him tight. He glances at his other friends, who smile weakly at him. "So what're we going to do today, then? I wasn't expecting a whole fucking circus troupe over my house this morning." John stands back up.

"We're going to have an awesome last day." Dave rolls his eyes.

"It's not like I'm not gonna be visiting, like, every weekend," he mutters. John crosses his arms.

'Hey, look, you're moving and it's a big deal so we're going to make today a big deal."

"We're not going to have to watch The Breakfast Club, are we?"

"Though I don't see what you have against The Breakfast Club, no. We won't have to."

Dave stares at his cake, which has the cliché little sugar flowers around the edges. "So is this breakfast?"

"Hell yeah it is!" Terezi cheers, ripping the top off. So the five friends dined on cake while talking about Dave's new home.

"It's about forty-five minutes away, so I'm starting school their right on Monday. I haven't really talked to anyone there online, so I dunno what it's going to be like." They hung around until a bit before lunch time.

"We should go," Terezi said, grabbing Karkat's hand. "And give Dave and John a bit of time alone before he has to go." She grinned at Dave, who glared at her past her glasses. "Bye-bye, Dave," she said, and gave him a giant hug. He hugged her back, and patted her back. "I'm gonna miss you."

Dave released her. "Keep Karkat under control, okay?" She laughed.

"I got it." Karkat shrugged, then punched Dave in the arm.

"Hey," he said, "Thanks for your help. With, like, a bunch of stuff. See you around." Dave waves a bit and sighs as the two head out, followed by a silent Sollux. He turns to John and sighs yet again. John smiles twitches, and then his face falls.

"Dave," he said quietly. "You're not going to, like, go off and get too cool for me are you?"

"I'm already to cool for you, Egbert," Dave says. "That never stopped me before." John smiles.

"Shut up, Dave," he mutters. Dave hugs John and kisses him.

"Yeah, I'll keep talking to you. But you better promise to do the same. I know where you live, you know.."

"Well, duh, I'll keep talking to you," John replies. "Cause I love you."


	15. Chapter 18

**got a bit of writers block so i hope this chapter doesn't suck too bad XD**

**i didn't get as many reviews as usual on the latest chapter *hides in dark corner***

**i got bored so i vaguely based eache person dave comments on while on the bus on a troll that doesn't get mentioned elsewhere in the story otherwise. ;) can you guess all three? **

Dave's alarm clock blares. He slams his palm down onto the snooze button, then flips onto his back. Sighing, he stares tiredly at the ceiling of his new room. It's a smaller room than his old one, but it has its own bathroom. Hopefully, that means he wouldn't walk into the shower to be greeted by an entire rainbow of leering puppets. He doubts he will be so fortunate. He scans his room. It is mostly empty, except for a box of clothes, his bed, his nightstand, and his empty dresser. It's bare, and it could be anyone's room, really. He buries his face into his pillow and groans. "_Fuck_," he mutters to nobody. He sits like this for a pitiful amount of time, until his alarm clock starts harassing him again. In defeat, he turns it off and stands up.

He pulls on his clothes, carrying himself like he's made of lead. Lead, and depression. A crow is sitting on his window, which is two stories high. He scowls and throws his pajama pants at the window, scaring away the bird. He pushes his glasses on. The feeling that he's experiencing today is familiar. The feeling of having to start all over. He kicks the box of clothes, knocking it over. The contents spill out on the floor. Dave leaves them, and meanders out to the kitchen.

Bro is still asleep. Dave can't help but frown bitterly. Doesn't he have his _awesome new job _to prepare for, or something? Dave's phone goes off. He takes it out of his pocket as he throws a bag of Fruit Loops onto the card table in the kitchen.

It's a Pesterchum message from John. "_hey dave! miss you already! good luck today! :)" _Dave stares at it for a moment, not sure whether to be happy to receive the message or bitter. "_thanks_" he answers simply. He shoves a large handful of dry Fruit Loops into his mouth, then tosses the bag carelessly back onto the counter. Grabbing his backpack, he heads out the door for school.

There are several things Dave does not like. One, for example, is living miles away from his boyfriend. Another is Bro's habit of falling asleep on the couch and snoring loudly so that the TV is drowned out and the living room is basically useless until he rises from the grave. Dave doesn't like being told to take off his glasses, and Dave doesn't like idiots.

But one thing that Dave did not ever really think about that he realizes now that he very much does not like is school buses. As soon as he hears it chugging down the street, picking him and a younger girl up, he knows he isn't going to like it. As he climbs onto it, his assumption is confirmed. It's packed with kids who stare at him. He slumps down into a seat in the back. The seat's grey and stabbed full of pencil holes. Some extremely witty graffiti of drawings of male genitalia and random curses decorate the back of the seat in front of him. It smells like inefficiently burned gasoline and gym clothing. His phone buzzes.

_"H3Y D4V3 HAV3 4 G00D F1RST D4Y 4ND T3LL M3 4LL 4B0UT 1T L4T3R" _Dave doubts he'd have anything exciting to report. _"alright and thanks" _he says, obviously not one for witty and thoughtful responses today. Dave shivers. The moron in front of him has his window open, despite the fact that it's mid-November and cold wind is rushing through it. Dave doesn't bother stir up trouble, and tries to ignore it. The bus comes to a violent halt that nearly throws him into the back of the window boy's seat.

A girl gets onto the bus. She sashays down to the back like she owns the bus, purposely ramming her hip into someone that's sitting a bit into the aisle, then sits down in the furthest back seat. She pauses and glances at Dave. She scowls at him, tossing her long black hair like she's some sort of queen. Dave can really tell he's going to love it here.

Well, he decides, let's not be hasty. The boy in the seat across to him chuckles. Dave glances at him. The boy, who appears to be stoned out of his mind, is lying down on the seat, staring up at the ceiling and chuckling like it just told him a joke. It probably did, in his mind. Dave hits his head on the back of his chair in defeat. Three strikes so far, and this was just the bus.

They pull up at the school. It's a red brick building, with kids pooling into it from all directions. Everyone starts shoving to get out of the bus. Dave watches them, wishing that he could hurry up and turn sixteen so he didn't have to deal with this. So far this school had crazy people and busses where his old school was in walking distance and the craziest person he'd had to deal with was Karkat.

He wanders into the school, and tries to find the office. After walking back and forth a few times he finds a small office with a woman who's staring at a computer. "Hello," he says.

"Hello," she says, her voice already dripping with insincerity, "how can I help you?"

"I'm, uh, new here," he mumbles.

"Ah, are you," she clicks at her computer, "David Strider?" He nods. She grins. "Yes, well, first, Mr. Strider, sunglasses are not allowed in the building." Dave pauses. Yep, he officially hates it here.

Dave slowly takes them off and clips them to his pocket. She smiles condescendingly and thanks him. Dave hates, _hates, hates _taking off his glasses. Around John, it's fine, because he doesn't really have to worry about what John will think of him. But when he removes his glasses otherwise, it feels like he's taking the entirety of his cool with them. It makes him feel stupid to walk around without them.

"Alright, Dave, shall I show you around a bit? _No. _

"Yeah, sure."


	16. Chapter 19

** TAAAAAAAVROOOOOOOOOOOOS *totally does not have unhealthy Tavros obsession. Nope, never* Also, Tavros gives the answers to the bus people :P**

** This story's been around for about a month now! Forty plus subscribers, thirty plus favorites, four thousand plus views. x.x thank you so much everyone!**

Dave fiddles with his glasses, having already taken them out of his pocket, back into his hands. He's sitting, apparently waiting for some student that was going to show him around to his classes. He stares at his glasses, tempted to put them back on. He doesn't need to get in trouble on the first day. He rubs his eyes with his palms, the absence of anything masking his eyes making him nervous. He feels stupid. When his glasses are gone, his cool is gone. All gone. His cool rests in his glasses. His glasses are the only cool he has. Otherwise he was just a freaky-eyed weirdo. He sighs. Pull yourself together, Strider. Bro would be disappointed if he saw you like this. He puts his glasses in his pocket and lazes in the blue plastic chair, watching the clock in the office. God, this kid is slow.

The secretary smiles. "Ah, here he is." Dave turns. A boy enters the office, smiling nervously at Dave.

"H-hello! You're… you're Dave, r-right?" He stammers. Dave almost rolls his eyes but remembers that people can actually _tell _what he does with his eyes now. Instead he grins coolly. The boy is in a wheelchair, and pretty small. He has a short, feathery brown mohawk.

"Yep," Dave mutters, standing up.

"I'm Tavros! I'll show you around, uh, well, I guess around the whole school, today. Or… uh, as long as you… n-need a guide I guess!" Why is everyone at this school such a frikkin character?

"Alright," Dave says. Tavros is quiet, except for a mumbled _uhh_. "So let's go then?"

"Right," Tavros says hastily. He spins himself around. "Follow me." Dave wanders after Tavros, his hands in his pockets, easily keeping up. Outside, everyone is still wandering around. The bell clearly hasn't rung yet. Tavros says hello to several people, Dave keeps his head down self-consciously. He can't tell if Tavros was freaked out by his eyes, but he seems pretty nervous. A few people Tavros greets are the freak show Dave met on the bus.

"Hey, Tavbro, buddy," Stoner Boy says with a lazy grin as he slaps Tavros on the back.

"_Oomph_. H-hello, Gamzee." Tavros winces, the friendly pat on the back obviously a little overkill. Tavros keeps going.

"Uh, sorry, but it's a little further to walk to, uh… the e-elevator," he mutters. On the way, Dave spots window boy. Dave didn't notice on the bus but he is extremely tall and muscular. Dave's pretty satisfied with his decision not to bother the guy about the window.

"Who's that guy?" Dave asks. Tavros glances over at window boy.

"O-oh that's Equius. A lot of people are a-afraid of him but he's actually… p-pretty nice!" Dave nods. Once they reach the elevator, which seems to be located in the most out of the way possible corner of the school, Tavros stops. "A-ah… g-geez, great. I-it's Vriska," he stammers. Dave recognized Bus Queen from earlier, leaning against the elevator doors. She smirks and pushes the button, but stands in the middle so Tavros can't get past her. Tavros frowns. "Uh, c-can I get by… pl-please, Vriska?" Vriska glances up at him, then frowns, and begins texting on her phone. "Vr-vriska I need to get by." She continues to ignore him, smirking slightly as she taps at the keyboard of her phone. Tavros sighs. "She's always like th-this to m-me…," he mutters to Dave. "Vr-vriska, really!" The elevator doors open. Dave scowls.

"Hey, Queenie," he snaps, "You heard Tavros. Move your ass." Vriska slowly looks up and slides her phone into the pocket of her skinny black jeans, then straightens up.

"And just who the hell are you?" she demands.

"Dave Strider. The guy who's gonna make your day real miserable if you don't get your ass out of the way before those doors close." Vriska frowns then moves.

"You've made a mistake, _Dave Strider_," she sneers. Dave snorts, rolling his eyes.

"Right. Tavros, why are you just sitting there? Those doors are gonna close any second." He walks into the elevator, spinning around and levelly locking eyes with Vriska, who's glaring intensely. Tavros gets into the elevator just as it starts closing.

"Th-thanks, Dave!" he says. "She's always, uh, picking on me and… I, uh, never can get her to stop." Dave shrugs.

"Just put your foot down, dude. She's not that tough." Tavros sighs.

"Neither, uh… neither am I," he mutters. "I-if I tried that she'd just tip my chair over and I'd be, uh, well, pretty stuck until someone notices me." Dave frowns. Poor sucker. Dave already kind of likes him, even though he made a promise to himself that he wouldn't let himself make any friends here just to make a point to Bro. God, what's with him and nerdy losers lately? Maybe it's just because the kids that aren't the "losers" just piss him off. The elevator dings and comes to a jerky halt after a second, and the doors squeak open.

"So are you, like, in that thing for good? Or is it just for a while?" Dave pauses. "Sorry, that's kinda personal I guess." Tavros shrugs, and starts wheeling along.

"Nah, it's, uh, pretty much for, uh, good. Unless I can get, uh, false legs or something." Dave frowns.

"That's rough."

Tavros smiles slightly. "Eh, it's, uh, not so bad. If I can, uh, get a scholarship then my college fund can go t-to the legs and I'll be able to walk again." Dave nods. "Here's our homeroom."

Dave follows Tavros around until lunch. The cafeteria is larger than the one at his old school. He looks around uncertainly. "You, uh, wanna sit at my table? It's, uh, pretty e-empty and stuff." Dave nods.

"Cool," he says. He follows Tavros to a table in the back corner of the room. A girl is sitting, checking her make-up in a mirror. Stoner Boy, or Gamzee, is sitting, appearing to be asleep, judging by the fact that his mouth is hanging open and he's snoring loudly. Tavros sits at the end of the square table. "H-hey, guys, this is Dave. He's new here."

"Hello, Dave. I am Kanaya. Are you a new friend of Tavros'?" Dave nods. "Very nice to meet you."

Gamzee snores.

Dave listens to Tavros and Kanaya talk about various things, while he remains silent. Out of nowhere, Gamzee wakes up abruptly, grins to himself, and leaves the lunchroom. Tavros and Kanaya continue talking as though nothing has happened. Dave frowns. Man, he had though Terezi was weird.

Maybe Bro had accidentally moved him into a town that housed a bunch of psychotic ex-mental patients that had been released into this school to be put under watch. Yes, that seems to be a good explanation. Tavros seems nice, but he seems really anxious all the time. Kanaya seems a bit eccentric. Gamzee is just freaking Dave the hell out, Vriska is a bitch and that's only the people he's met.

The school day passes on slowly, and finally Dave wanders into the new apartment, worn out. Bro is home. "Didn't you have work?"

"Not 'til tomorrow," Bro says, ignoring the fact that Dave is clearly annoyed with him. "How was school?" Dave looks at Bro silently for a minute, laughs a bit, then shuts himself in his room.


	17. Chapter 20

**Your voices were heard- I'm back! **

* * *

The weekdays, well, they're beyond boring. They are mindnumbing. They make Dave homicidal. He has brought this up to Bro, who has given up apologizing, or arguing, or anything of the sort. Several of these days go by. A few times Tavros has invited him to hang out after school, but Dave refuses. Mostly just because he doesn't want Bro to think he has any friends and that he's as miserable as possible.

On Friday, Dave makes sure he wades through Bro's puppet-filled room to set his alarm clock.

"I'm going to John's tomorrow," Dave says, fully aware that it's probably the millionth time he's reminded Bro.

"So I've heard."

"If you sleep in I'll walk there myself."

"Cool."

"And I won't come back."

"Even better," Bro mutters, putting his headphones on. Dave wanders off, knowing that the conversation is officially over. He turns on his laptop and logs into Pesterchum.

**turntechGodhead started pestering ectoBiologist at 7:12 pm**

**TG: johnathon**

**TG: sweet sweet johnathon  
TG: have you prepared me the poison**

**EB: what?**

**TG: i will disappear into this hateful night  
EB: are you, like, making up your own version of romeo and juliet right now?**

**TG: no. thats bro  
TG: silly egbert**

**EB: jeez dave calm down**

**TG: no**

**TG: look**

**TG: my only friend is this little wimpy kid in a paraplegic  
TG: and hes great and all**

**TG: but im seriously starting to think he is above me on the social food chain**

**TG: and that makes me  
TG: like**

**TG: algae**

**TG: i dont want to be algae **

**TG: john where are you  
TG: egbert  
TG: douchebag  
EB: oops sorry dave! sollux was over so i was saying goodbye**

**TG: what**

**EB: yeah, he came over for dinner today.**

**TG: oh my god**

**EB: what.  
TG: oh my god why**

**EB: because he's my friend?  
TG: i recall you saying he was a freaky bipolar drug addict**

**EB: he's actually pretty nice.  
TG: just say no**

**EB: seriously? **

**TG: john i'm serious**

**TG: you're going to turn into **

**TG: like  
EB: like?  
TG: a drug addict that dresses up as a girl and gives creepy old people hugs  
TG: so that you can afford your coke**

**EB: dave you're being a douche.  
TG: no**

**TG: no this is worry**

**TG: and concern  
TG: concern that i will get secondhand old creeper stank from you**

**EB: ugh you're overreacting.**

**TG: fine whatever sure**

**TG: should i ask TZ**

**EB: ask her if i've become a drug addict?  
TG: well yes that**

**TG: and if sollux is like the creepiest freak in the world  
EB: dave god you're just being jealous**

**TG: this is me**

**TG: this is me laughing hysterically**

**TG: this is me rolling on the fucking ground**

**TG: crashing into fucking neon puppet ass  
TG: uncontrollable because the thought that i might be jealous of sollux**

Dave actually isn't rolling around on his floor. Nor are there any neon smuppets (yet) on it. So that's two lies. He will pretend that it is the truth that he is not jealous of Sollux. He disapproved of John being so desperate to replace him with someone else so quickly.

**EB: don't be a baby**

**TG: right**

**TG: goo goo fucking gaga**

**TG: wheres my goddamn mom**

**TG: im thirsty**

**EB: dave omg gross**

**EB: quit it**

**TG: tell you what ill go get into my crib since its past my bedtime**

**TG: see you tomorrow**

Dave slams his computer's top down forcefully, without really thinking about it. Then in annoyance he pushes it back open and goes back on Pesterchum.

**EB: dave?**

Dave pauses, then opens a chat with Karkat, since Terezi isn't online. He's been talking to her all week, so why hasn't she mention Sollux. He frowns, pushes his glasses up on his nose and types to Karkat.

**turntechGodhead started pestering cariconGeniticist at 7:23 pm**

**TG: karkat**

**CG: WHAT.**

**TG: well hello to you to  
CG: YOU DIDN'T SAY IT EITHER RETARD.**

**TG: whatever**

**TG: hi**

**TG: bonjour**

**TG: guten-fucking-tag**

**CG: DOESN'T THAT MEAN GOOD MORNING OR SOMETHING?**

**TG: hell if I know**

**TG: anyway**

**TG: tell me about sollux**

**CG: WHAT?  
TG: you know the weird kid**

**TG: about ye tall**

**TG: nerdy disposition**

**TG: douchebag**

**CG: I KNOW WHO YOU'RE FUCKING TALKING ABOUT**

**CG: BUT WHY DO YOU CARE.**

**TG: cause john is suddenly enamored with him**

**CG: SO YOU'RE WORRIED**

**TG: i dont wanna be the one funding johns drug addiction**

**TG: like seriously**

**TG: i dont have that kind of money man**

**CG: SURE WHATEVER YOU SAY YOU GAY LOVESICK FUCKWAD**

**TG: right**

**TG: so anyway**

**CG: SO ANYWAY TEREZI CANT FUCKING STAND HIM**

**CG: HE'S KINDA ANNOYING BUT I DON'T KNOW**

So this is how its going to be. Dave is going to enter and fade from their lives like some sort of ghost that lasted for under a few months.

"I'm going to John's tomorrow."

"Dave, yes, you're going to John's tomorrow. Now shut up or I'm going to fucking feed you your own mouth. Shut up."


	18. Chapter 21

***whips fluff at your faces* HARGH**

**T_T Yeah, I know a lot of eighties movies titles cause I actually like them. BLAM.**

* * *

"Dave!" John cries, running over and hugging him. He doesn't slow down, so he nearly knocks Dave backwards. Dave stumbles and catches John, smirking.

"Jeez, Egbert, I've only been gone for a week," he says. "It's not like I went off to war or anything." John shrugs, still hugging Dave.

"I still missed you."

"Well at least that makes one of you guys," Dave mutters. Karkat and Terezi were too busy on a date or something. Terezi promised she'd see him next week. Dave was admittedly a bit hurt, but of course he didn't say that to her.

"So are you coming inside?" Dave nods, and John takes his overnight bag. Apparently it took a bit of convincing so Mr. Egbert would let Dave spend the night.

**TG: why shouldnt he let us**

**TG: tell him its not like im gonna get you pregnant**

**EB: yeah, im not so sure if thats the correct way to go about this**

**TG: why not**

**EB: … just let me handle this**

So whatever John had said to Mr. Egbert has obviously worked. John leads Dave up to his room. Dave smiles at the poster-plastered mess, because it obviously belongs to John. John puts Dave's stuff down and flops down on the bed. "So how's school?"  
"I already told you,' Dave mutters. "It blows. I've got one friend and he expects me to play nice with his stoner best friend. And he's usually to busy talking to his other friend, Kanaya, anyway. So I have nobody left to talk to but the stoner."

"Do you have nice chats?"

"I don't talk to him," Dave says flatly. "But, God, John, this place is a God damn circus. Tavros is paralyzed and in a wheelchair, so he's bullied by some chick that's obsessed with spiders, his best friend is never, ever, _not _high off his ass, Kanaya talks like she's eighty years old."

"Well, jeez, I'm sorry, Dave." Dave is not done.

"I sit next to these people on the bus, along with this guy named Equius. He kind of reminds me of an elephant. He's all nervous, even though he's the size of a god damned whale and could crush anyone like they were a freaking piece of origami. And the worst part is he's always anxious and sweaty, so he's opening the fucking window regardless of the fact that it's the middle of November." He takes a deep breath. "So, that, John, is how school is."

"I'm sorry for bringing it up," John says. Dave sighs.

"It's not your fault Bro has thrust me into the pits of hell disguised as a high school." John pats the side of his bed. Dave sits down, attempting not to act sulky or upset. "So how's everything here?" John sighs.

"Kinda boring, really. Karkat and Terezi are always busy being a couple now, and that kinda leaves me with Sollux."

"I'm sorry," Dave says flatly. Dave is not sorry. Not in the least. John seems very happy with Sollux, doesn't he?

Dave. No. No, that's not how you're going to be, he tells himself. You're not going to go all lonely housewife. John is not your flighty husband that met that nice girl at the office. No. No, you are too cool for this man. And besides, this is your glorious day with John. Using math you only get to spend not-enough-fucking-percent of your time with John.

"Daaaave? This is Earth speaking?" John says, rattling Dave out of the insane ramblings of his minds. John chuckles at his own joke, like the stupid loser he is. Dave is starting to wish he hadn't met the stupid loser because things were getting complicated as fuck.

"So when's Bro picking you up tomorrow?"

Dave stretched his hands above his head. "Probably about noon," he mutters. "What do you wanna do?"

Dave has no idea, so the two ended up watching John's movies. Rather, John watches John's movies while Dave counts the tacky flowers on John's couch. The fact that John allowed Dave to wrap his arm around him kept Dave awake for the first half of the movie, but the novelty was starting to wear off. John doesn't seem to notice the fact that his boyfriend is on the verge of falling into an eighties movie induced coma. As _Better Off Dead_ continues on with no signs of stopping Dave pretends to snore loudly.

"Dave," John snaps, hardly looking away.

"Sna-a-a-a-argh," Dave continues. John pauses his movie and scoots closer to Dave. Dave turns to him, the exaggerated expression of deep sleep melting off his face as he smirks at John.

"What'd you pause it for? It was just getting to the just as god damn boring part." John scowls.

"You have no taste, Dave," he snaps. Dave laughs and shrugs.

"Like I'm gonna take your advice on taste, Egbert," he retorts calmly. John scoots away from him and huffs. "Oh, the silent treatment? Over _Ferris Bueller's Day Off?_"

"It's _Better Off Dead," _John mutters. Dave sighs.

"It was sarcasm. Why do you have such an attachment to them anyway?"

"They're _good_," John whines.

"Fine. They're the best movies ever. Will you pay attention to me now?" Dave says, snaking his hands around John's waste. John smirks.

"Only if you admit that Nic Cage is cool."

"Look. I'm already taking a big step here by even lying to you about the quality of your movies. Let's take this slow." John smiles and spins around, kissing Dave. Dave pulls him closer. "Is this better than your movies?" John shrugs. "You little shit." The boy in his arms chuckles, then nods as he deepens the kiss.

"Yeah," he mumbles.

"Good," Dave drawls.

If only Dave could get his fairytale ending. Dave tries to resist the urge to curse Bro in his thoughts and instead focus on the boy in his arms.


	19. Chapter 22

ermahgerd flurf.

* * *

John scoots away, smiling goofily. "Dad's home, you know." Dave shrugs.

"It's not like he wasn't told I'm dating you," Dave says with an simple smirk. "Don't I have, like, right to do whatever I want with you now?" John's face flushes.

"Dave! No that's not what it means!" He stares at the television, looking away from Dave, who ends up letting himself grin.

"You say that like you were thinking something dirty, John," Dave says in a mocking voice. John glares at him.

"God, Dave!" He turns back towards Dave with a smirk. "Besides, even if Dad gave you permission to do whatever you want _I'd _let you." Dave crosses his arms.

"Like you don't want some Class-A Strider action," Dave jeers. John turns back to his movie with a roll of his eyes. The fact that he's silent makes a smirk play on Dave's lips. He cracks his knuckles, and slumps back up against the couch, not sure how to distract John any longer from his boring-ass movie. It was practically a miracle that he'd managed to before. He groans loudly, throwing his head back on the couch and flopping dramatically.

"Dave! Stop it."

"I only get to visit once a week and you're using it to subject to me to this fucking _torture_," Dave mutters. John snatches up the remote in defeat and aggressively pauses his movie.

"_Fine_," he hisses. "What do _you _suggest we do?" He pauses. "No, don't even _go _there, Dave."

"Go where?" Dave teases.

The two end up walking around town for a while. Dave refuses to show that he's depressed as they walk by John's high school. He suddenly feels a bit like a stranger. He'd only been there for a few months. This felt like the closest thing to home he'd had since Texas, but to everyone there he would probably be forgotten in a while.

"Dave? You okay?" Shit, he'd forgotten his cool. He turned to John and shrugs

"Just thinking and stuff."

"'Bout what?" Dave shrugs it off again. John watches him for a while before they continue walking. They end up going out for dinner at a Burger King's, then head back to John's, taking a pit stop at Dairy Queen, and then the park, and then get lost and by the time they get back it's practically night. John's dad is still busy upstairs ("Overtime as always," John says with a roll of his eyes).

They end up playing video games until midnight. Dave's all set to stay up for another four hours before he crashes, but John is obviously exhausted. "Alright, ready to sleep?" Dave shrugs. John points lazily at the couch. "You can sleep there," he says. Dave nods and wanders of to get changed, satisfied with the fact that he successfully wasted half his Saturday with his boyfriend. John sets it up, throwing a pillow and a throw blanket haphazardly onto it. Dave flops down, instantly realizing more than he did before how ridiculously uncomfortable this is going to be. The couch must be stuffed with fucking rocks or some shit. Possibly glass.

"'Night John," Dave mumbles. He figures he'll probably roll around for an hour or two until he gets bored and wakes up John in the most annoying way possible (which will probably be how he uses that hour or two- scheming.) He sits down on the couch, reclining against the armrest but not lying down yet. John lingers for a minute then smiles a bit and slides next to him. Dave remains silent while John curls up next to him, taking the blanket and throwing it over himself and Dave. Dave smirks a bit and wraps his arms around John. They end up falling asleep like that without really intending two, both of their glasses askew.

"Dave?" Dave turns to look at Tavros, snapping out of his daydreaming about what he'd be doing if he was back with his friends again. "You alright?"

"Great," Dave mutters, rubbing his exposed eyes.

* * *

**The calm before the storm. flurf before the drama guys. Hold onto your butts**


	20. Chapter 23

Dave relives his Saturday cuddled up with his lovely Prince Egbert over and over, mechanically answering the questions on the math paper in front of him, probably making stupid mistakes he doesn't bother check. He shrugs off Tavros and Kanaya at lunch and wanders around the school. By this point it was Thursday and he was in a crap mood.

It isn't school anymore. He's alright, and even broke down and started hanging out with Kanaya and Tavros after school at the ice cream place in town. He gives up trying to spite Bro and they both go about doing their own things like usual. So for the most parts he was starting to settle in much better than he thought he would be.

But his entire Pesterlog with John with the week was as follows:

**-turntechGodhead started pestering ectoBiologist at 3:00pm-**

**TG: hey john you grounded or some shit**

**TG: like seriously youre always on and its been two days**

**TG: did you like accidentally say a naughty word in front of dad e**

**TG: that s word will totally get you**

**TG: dont say stupid john its hurtful**

**TG: john you stupid bastard where are you**

**-turntechGodhead started pestering ectoBiologist at 3:11pm-**

**-turntechGodhead started pestering ectoBiologist at 8:23pm-**

**TG: okay dude your starting to freak me out **

**TG: its wednesday man**

**TG: tz says your alive**

**TG: what did i do**

**-ectoBiologist started pestering turntechGodhead at 8:44pm-**

**EB: sorry!  
EB: i've been really busy with a biology project.  
EB: talk to you tomorrow alright?**

**-ectobiologist ceased pestering turntechGodhead at 8:45 pm-**

**TG: well damn i blinked and your gone**

**TG: bye then**

**-turntechGodhead ceased pestering ectoBiologist at 8:45 pm-**

Now that was all fine and good. If John had a biology project then let the boy work on his biology project. Dave wasn't upset at that until earlier this morning.

**TZ: UM...**

**TZ: WH4T B10L0GY PR0J3CT?**

Well okay, so John was ignoring him. Dave decides to talk to him about it. He's sent him a slew of texts trying to get his attention but he's probably busy with school. At lunch his phone buzzes, so he gets up and leaves as inconspicuously as possible.

He ducks into the bathroom so he doesn't get some teacher bothering him (they're way too strict around her, he's learned.)

**EB: well i don't know about terezi but my class got one!**

**TG: dont you have the same class**

**TG: just different periods**

**EB: well yeah but some of the stuff we do is different**

Something makes Dave feel like he's lying. And he'd never admit it, but it hurts. What is John hiding from him. With a quick few texts back and forth with Terezi, she promises to keep an eye on him. But for some reason, that doesn't make Dave feel better. He doesn't know what's up, but it's bothering him. Part of him is nagging him to walk out of this damn school now and walk until he's back home. Not back where he was a month ago. Back to Texas before all this stupid shit happened.

Dave buries leans against the sink and hits the back of his head on the mirror. What the hell is even happening?

He wanders back to lunch not having the heart to argue with John or pretend to believe him. He slumps down and tries to act normal. But his eyes are exposed, of course, the two blazing emotion centers he usually keeps covered. Kanaya, unfortunately is extremely skilled at telling something's wrong. She pulls herself next to him with a smile. The two don't talk much so Dave just nods at her.

"Are you alright, David?" She asks. She has a slight accent, maybe British or something.

"Yeah," Dave says, busying himself with his ramen. Her expression softens a bit.

"I can see you are upset about something. I know we are not the best of friends but I also understand that it might be hard to talk to the others as well. You can turn to me if you need to."

Dave shrugs. "Just some trouble since I moved with friends and stuff I guess," he mutters simply. The girl nods slowly.

"Oh, yes," she said, nodding. "I had a very similar problem a years ago." Dave turns to her. "When I was thirteen I lived in the same town as my very lovely girlfriend. I attended a private school in town but we still managed to see each other most days for about half a year. It was very nice. But unfortunately my mother moved us here, and my relationship with Rose was highly strained." Rose? Like his old best friend? Dave figures it was a coincidence but he decides to ask her when she's done with her story. "We were both extremely busy and hardly had time to talk at all. But we both readjusted to our new circumstances and things got better. We are still together, you know. I doubt your problems with your friends will fail to improve." She smiles warmly and extracts a tube of lipstick, fixing her (already fine) makeup.

"So... Rose," Dave says. Kanaya glances over, setting her lipstick down carefully.

"Yes?"

"Rose... would she be Rose Lalonde?" Kanaya's eyes widen and she nods.

"Why, yes. You know Rose?" Dave nods quickly.

"We used to be friends a few years ago. She actually mentioned you a few times. But...," he trails off. "I wasn't exactly as successful at keeping a long distance relationship with her. She and I stopped talking and stuff, you know?" Kanaya's face lit with realization.

"Oh, you're that Dave! Rose mentioned you. Yes, her mother accidentally put some sort of virus on her computer and she was not able to talk to you for a while. It seems that by the time she was able to get back on and create a new profile she was not able to contact you." Dave frowns, recalling that a few months after Rose stopped talking to him he had changed his Pesterlog handle. "Perhaps I can give her your handle for you?" Dave nods.

"That'd be great," he said with a nod. He takes a piece of notebook paper out and writes it down. "Hey, why don't you add me?"

"Alright. I'm sure Rose will be very happy to hear from you."

Dave wonders if his old friend is still into the whole psychology thing like she'd been. Cause for once in his life he thinks he needs one of her psychoanalytic rants.

**=w= the lovely miss maryam and miss lalonde, everyone!**


	21. Chapter 24

***fat, mid-forties principal voice* BEWARE… SOCIAL NETWORKING**

**being a drama llama today, my friends. **

* * *

Dave sullenly stares at his computer screen. He talked to Rose for almost two hours, catching up with her until she had to go to a debate club meeting. She told you about how she was working for the local paper, and doing well at school. You asked her about Kanaya which was sort of a mistake- the girl seemed to have an entire essay formulated for anything to do with her girlfriend. She's perfect; gorgeous, loving, intelligent, and about a hundred synonyms for each.

**TT: So have you found anyone special? **

Ah, yes. That. He considers explaining that his boyfriend hasn't talked tohim in almost a week and seems to be avoiding him even though a week a go he was all cuddles and smiles. But Dave decides not to bother her about his problems. After all, he hasn't talked to the girl in over a year. He just explains he met a nice guy named John and answers all her questions about John as concisely as possible. When she logs off, Dave no longer has a distraction from the fact that John's been acting weird.

So, you decide to do what anyone would do in his situation. He decides to stalk John. Of course, literally stalking John will probably cause some problems down the road, so he does the next best thing. Dave dusts off his Facebook for the first time since he met John. He takes a minute to remember his password. It alerts him of people still liking his shit that he posted, like, last year, but he ignores that. Dave has work to do.

He goes to John's profile page and scrolls through. At first it's just information that he's liked some more movies and a couple complaints about school. He gets to the stuff from yesterday and sees a picture of John, Karkat, and Sollux. The two bespectacled boys are grinning while Karkat rolls his eyes, all of them sitting in a McDonald's booth. John's hand goes out of the picture, making it obvious that he had snapped it.

Dave frowns. "Nice biology project, Egbert." He continues scrolling. There are a couple wall posts back and forth with Sollux. Stuff about John complaining about Sollux having his nose in his laptop while they were watching movie's. Dave glowered, crossing his arms, and sitting back, taking in the information.

Jealousy was continuing to swell inside him as he slammed his laptop shut aggressively and jammed his headphones over his ears, cranking his music as loudly as he could before he ended up running out screaming. And doing so all the way back to John where he would promptly smash his and Sollux's heads together until all the stupidity fell out.

John was _his _best friend. And John was his boyfriend_. _And since he was both, then why was he blowing him off? He angrily opens the Pesterchum app on his phone, not bothering to think much about what he's going to say.

**-turntechGodhead started pestering ectoBiologist at 5:43pm—**

**TG: do i look really stupid**

**TG: last time i checked i thought i seemed at least mildly intelligent**

**EB: ?**

Dave grips his phone tighter, growing more upset. Did John think he was this stupid? That he believed that John didn't know what Dave was talking about?

**TG: theres no fucking biology project john  
TG: or if there is youre certainly not so busy with it you cant talk to me**

**EB: … what are you talking about? i told you Terezi didn't get the same homework as me!**

**TG: i know that**

**EB: well then…?  
TG: well i've been cruising the interwebs**

**TG: and they seem to think you were hanging out with sollux**

**EB: ….  
EB: hes in my biology class**

**TG: oh bullshit john**

**TG: do i need to show you your own facebook page**

**TG: or do you have another excuse**

**TG: the wily poltergeist that posts amazingly rendered photoshopped pictures of you and sollux screwing around**

**TG: and pingpongs wall posts back and forth with him**

**TG: while your slaving away on bio homework**

**TG: or are you gonna admit your avoiding me?**

There's a long pause. Dave feels nauseous, but he can't look away from the screen, waiting for the trademark blue text to pop up. After an eternity, it did.

**EB: look, dave… i guess i've been pretty much a jerk about this but i didn't wanna upset you.**

**TG: well fuck**

**TG: i think i know where this is going**

**EB: … i mean, i really like being with you and stuff… **

**EB: but i think i'd be more comfortable just being friends?**

Dave stares blankly at the screen, then mindlessly begins punching words into the text box as rapidly as he can.

**TG: jesus christ im so fucking stupid  
TG: "gee golly dave i just became ever so smitten with you when i saw your eyes"**

**TG: that was bullshit **

**TG: you were just bored with being single**

**TG: and i was fucking there with my arms wide open like an idiot**

**EB: dave…. i really thought we might be something**

**TG: quit the fucking school girl theatrics**

**TG: i can tell your lying**

**TG: maybe you cant**

**TG: maybe you believe your own bullsht**

**EB: dave.**

**EB: i just found out im gay a few months ago**

**EB: i'm still really confused and stuff, you know?**

**EB: i'm sorry if i hurt you.**

Dave can't find it in him at the minute to accept the apology. He straightens up in his chair, trying to think of something, anything to say. He feels sick with himself for wanting to say something that will hurt John. But he doubts that John is feeling even a scrap of remorse or regret. Dave can't deny that he wants him to.

Why would he do this? He slumps down on his bed, readjusting his headphones and pretending to ignore John's messages even though he's rereading them over and over, scanning them with a dead expression like Bro drilled into him.

**EB: you there?**

**EB: i guess you're probably mad at me. i hope you'll still come by this weekend?  
EB: i'm really, really sorry dave**

**EB: i feel like i ruined our friendship.**

**EB: i just think maybe i'm not ready for a relationship yet, you know? i'm still the least mature out of all of our friends.**

**EB: i hope you're reading these. you don't have to respond or anything.**

**EB; i'm so sorry. **

**EB: i hope… you know, you don't hate me.**

John goes offline after a minute. Dave let's his phone drop beside him. Through the pounding of his music, fuzzy thoughts fill his head. He's not sure how, and he's not sure how long it will take. But he's gonna make John regret this so bad. He's gonna get John back, no matter what.


	22. Chapter 25

Dave reacts by doing what he finds to be the coolest most obvious thing to do; he ignores the shit of John. He goes to visit that weekend, but spends the day with Terezi. She sighs, stretching out on the top of the playground where she sits, cracking her knuckles and sighing. "So how're you doing?" He shrugs.

"Fine." She glances at him, popping a bubble of gum before speaking again.

"Are you sure? I don't think you would've spent the whole week offline if you were 'fine.'" He shrugs and tries his best to sit nonchalantly atop the slide.

"Just needed a break," he mumbles distantly. Terezi rolled her eyes.

"You don't have to act all stoic about it. It's not like I'm gonna laugh at you and tell everyone." Dave smiles weakly.

"I thought you were _fickle_," he says. She smirks and shakes her head.

"Not with you." Dave feels a bit cheered. He may be having a shitty time with John but at least he still has his other friends looking out for him, Even Kanaya and Tavros had brought him out and ordered him a giant-ass sundae. He had rolled his eyes.

"What's this? Break-up ice cream?" Kanaya smiled slyly.

"Maybe. But it's free ice cream. I don't see any reason that you should not take advantage of such an offer." Dave had obliged. He hung out with them at Kanaya's house until late Friday night, playing a game that Tavros had brought over.

When Saturday morning came he told Bro about John, but asked him to drop him off at Terezi's. He remembers John asking him to come over still. He scowls, and doesn't doubt his decision not to.

John. John who had given up pretty easily on trying to squeeze forgiveness out of Dave. Dave tried to rationalize that it was probably just because John didn't want to bother him much more but he still has a nagging feeling that John had given up because he doesn't really care.

Dave sighs and shrugs, turning and jumping off the top of the slide onto the playscape. "Honestly," he mumbles. "Honestly it sucks." Terezi nods, faced so her eyes are pointed in another direction, but he knows she's listening. "How's John taking it? Easily?" He can't hide the venom in his voice. Terezi shrugs.

"He's kinda depressed that you won't talk to him. Karkat keeps telling him that 'no shit' you're upset." They both smirked a bit. Dave sighs.

"Kinda depressed. Huh. I bet he doesn't even care." Terezi shrugs.

"I think he does. He's been pretty quiet the past two days." Dave considers before his face falls again. If he were depressed, he wouldn't go through with breaking up with Dave. He'd be crawling back over, Dave thought bitterly. Which John very much isn't.

"You wanna go out an get some lunch?" Terezi asks. Dave nods. Terezi and him walk for a while until she stops at a coffee shop.

"Does this place even sell lunch?"

"Dave," she snaps, "Have you already forgotten my dietary habits?" Oh yes, right. Terezi orders an iced coffee with chocolate and caramel then dumps five packs of sugar into it. She also ordered a cinnamon bun and a blueberry scone. Dave gets a plain coffee and a croissant, not finding anything remotely lunch-like in the glass case of pastries. "Hey," she says, "Why don't you and I sit over there." She points to a table. Dave looks, then wheel around to look at her.

"Oh my God. No. You didn't." Terezi smirks. "How could you do this? I thought we were friends, you ice cold prick." Sitting at the table she pointed to be Sollux, who's completely engulfed in whatever it is he's doing on his computer. The screen is visibly black with neon green text dotting it so it looks like he's programming or something.

"C'mon Dave, you don't even know the guy."

"So you're on his side now?" Dave cries dramatically. "Ouch, TZ, I thought we were friends." She rules her eyes.

"I'm not 'on his side.' I just think you two got off to a rough start. Trust me, he's fine. When have I ever been wrong?" Dave snorts. "Never. Exactly. Now sit your ass down, kid." Dave looks at her indignantly but she already has on her stoic face of a determined female. Dave follows her in defeat over to Sollux's table. He glances up at them, waves then adjusts his glasses.

"Hey TZ," he says. "Hey Dave." Dave nods and sits down in a chair, busying himself with his croissant.

"Hi Sollux," Terezi says cheerfully. Pretend cheerfully, Dave knows. He wonders why she bothers. "How're you?"

"Pretty good. Just screwing around with a Pesterchum hack." Hurk, his stupid lisp is so annoying. Dave tries to ignore it for Terezi's sake. He looks up from his croissant.

"Pesterchum hack?"

"Yeah," Sollux says. "I think my ex-girlfriend might be cheating on me. Trying hack her account now that all decency has left this God-forsaken relationship," he mumbles, tapping at keys rapidly, his brow furrowed.

"Man, that's rough," Dave offers. "Sorry." Sollux shrugs.

"Eh, it's not that bad. Hey, sorry about John, man." Dave shrugs.

"You'd think he'd shut up about how miserable he is," Sollux said shaking his head. "The idiot broke up with _you. _I mean, no offense or anything." Dave shakes his head.

"You aren't offending me none." Terezi sips loudly at her sugar-abomination she calls coffee.

"You know, I'd like to discuss a plan with you, Mr. Strider. If you want to get John back, that is." Dave pokes his coffee stirrer around his coffee, making it steam more.

"A plan?" He mutters skeptically. The _taktaktaktaktaktaktaktak _of Sollux's hacking fills the dramatic pause Terezi attempts to create by taking another bite of scone.

"Yes. Christmas break is in three weeks, right?"

"Right…"

"Well, you should have a Christmas party. Like, a real party. And you should say it's to make up for the shitty Halloween party." The group doesn't usually talk about the Halloween Party Disaster. It's kinda a subject they avoided. "But then we will make it one big giant attempt to make John take you back!" Dave sighs, slumping back.

"Seriously?"

"It could work! Me, and Karkat and Sollux have been working out some details for you!"

"Details?"

"Well, first, you're gonna need a date." Dave drops his croissant and glares at Terezi.

"A date."

"A fake date, if you will."

"Are you suggesting I take Sollux?" Sollux looked up, though he didn't look surprised. Obviously they had been scheming about this before.

"Dave, you can bring someone you pick up off the street for all I care. I'm just trying to get you to open up to some people," she ushered at Sollux, "That could be potential party guests to your gigantic Christmas Shindig of John Redemption. We can call it CS of JR for short."

"You're being serious about this, aren't you?"

"Dave, you _said _you want him back, didn't you?" Dave doesn't even remember if he _did _say that to Terezi. She could be making it up for all he knew. He shrugs.

"If this goes wrong all the blame goes to you."

"Good," says Terezi. "Now we have three weeks to make CS of JR the best party ever."

**A/N: If you'd like to suggest one of Dave's friends as his fake date go ahead. I mean I already have someone in mind, but if the general consensus is for someone else I might change it as a present for all you lovely followers!**


	23. Chapter 26

**2x update combo! For once since like, forever**

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Terezi is taking this party very seriously. She's blowing up Dave's Pesterchum all week. He invites Kanaya and Tavros and allow them to invite whoever they want. Of course this somehow comes to mean that Vriska (Kanaya's guest) Equius, and Gamzee (both Tavros' ideas of party guests) are coming. Whatever, it's not like he actually plans on socializing with them. He also gets Rose to come which seems much easier at the mention of Kanaya. He sets the party for the twenty-third, the first day of Holiday break for all of them, except for Rose who's getting out two days before. That gives him, by the end of the week, thirteen days until the party.

Terezi ends up coming over on Saturday with a gigantic Rubbermaid tub full of Christmas lights and tinsel and she busies herself decorating the living room. Which Dave's not allowed to touch. She is apparently in charge of this entire operation. She shoves a bunch of recipes in his face. Recipes for cakes, chip dips, salsa, sandwiches, brownies. "Pick some. I'll get Sollux and Karkat over next week. We'll make them on the twenty-third." You rifle through them.

"Why can't we just buy them?"

"Because this is a _serious _party and it requires _serious _food. What, were you just gonna stick a bunch of Cosmo brownies on a paper plate and call it a night?"

"I would've used a real plate." Terezi shakes her head and shakes some lights to untangle them.

"So," she drawled. "You got a date?" Dave sighs. She frowns. "C'mon you need a date. Just tell them it's fake I'm sure they'll agree."

"Ter-"

"If you don't, you're stuck with Sollux by default." Dave has been scheming in memos with Terezi and Sollux all week, so he's not that averse to Sollux. But Terezi has already said that he has to pick someone he's comfortable kissing. And Dave really does not want to kiss Sollux. He really does not want to kiss anyone, really. Besides, you know, John. Which is why he needs to find someone else and kiss them, he supposes.

"Fine, fine, I'll ask someone tomorrow."

"You've been talking to John again right?" Dave nods. Terezi had ordered him to ham it up about how much he forgave John so that inviting him to the party wouldn't seem weird.

"He's coming."

"Good. So all we need is you to get off your ass and fake-ask someone out." Dave considers his options begrudgingly. Sollux was a no. Terezi is out since she's obviously going to be with Karkat. John is obviously out. Kanaya and Rose also. That leaves Equius, Vriska, Gamzee, and Tavros. Vriska was a not in a million years. And the prospect of kissing Gamzee or Equius made his skin crawl.

That left one person. Oh sweet Jesus. "Alright, alright I will."

"Do it now."

"What? Why?"

"So I know you will." Dave glares at Terezi, then sighs in defeat and takes out his phone.

"I'm inviting him over. Just so you see the sacrifices I am making. Also, he'll probably going into shock because he, like, can't handle this kinda shit. And it'll be your job to drag him to the ER." Dave mumbles as he unlocks his phone.

**TG: hey you busy**

It's a while before Dave receives a response at that point Terezi is tossing clumps of light strings for him to try to work out. He holds it up and shakes at it before his phone buzzes.

**AT: nO**

**AT: wHY?**

**TG: TZ is over and we need some help planning the party**

**TG: so if you can drop by and help me with these fuckin lights and shit thatd be great**

**AT: oH, ALRIGHT SURE**

**AT: i'LL BE THERE IN TEN MINUTES**

**AT: oR SOMETHING**

**AT: mAYBE MORE? **

**TG: alright see you dude**

"He's coming," Dave mumbles irritably.

"Oh, lovely. I can't wait to meet your new suitor."

"Oh my God, shut up," Dave says. "This is your idea."

"I'm doing this for the sake of _your _relationship with John. Have a bit of gratitude, David." With a _pff _Dave works at the knots in the lights.

"Wait til John sees," Terezi says in excitement. "It's gonna be," she counts, "seven more people than the Halloween party! He's gonna see how popular you've become." Dave snorts.

"Right."

There's a quick, rapid knock on the door after a while. Dave tosses down the string of lights and goes to get it. Tavros smiles crookedly. "Hey Dave," he says. Dave blinks.

"How did you get up the stairs in front of the complex?" It's not that many stairs, maybe five or six, since you're on the first floor. But he's sitting at your door in a wheelchair, as if there were some reasonable way he couldn't climbed them. Tavros laughs dismissively.

"I'm used to dealing with stairs." Terezi wanders out to the front hall.

"Hello. You must be Tavros," she says. Tavros looks at her, and seems a bit nervous about the amount of people in this room he can't make eye contact with.

"Um, hello," he says. "Yeah I'm Tavros. I guess you must be Terezi then. Right?" She nods.

They wheedle away about half an hour stringing the remaining lights. Bro comes in, examines the lights and turns to Dave. He shrugs. Bro walks of in his normal fashion, not bothering to discuss it with you. The only conversation the two of you have had all week was asking to throw the party.

"Tell him about _the plan_," Terezi says after a while, pointing to Tavros with her thumb.

"The plan?" Tavros says, glancing Dave. Dave sighs. Damn it, Terezi.

"Remember John?"

"Your ex?" Tavros asks. The word ex is still like a bullet to him. He nods.

"Yeah, so, like, the entire point of this party is to get him back," Dave says. "Well besides, you know, having a party. That'll be pretty cool too. But anyway, Terezi thinks I need a date to make him jealous."

"Oh, uh… alright?" Tavros mumbles. Dave sighs. He doesn't get it, does he?  
"So I need you to be my fake date."

"What?" Tavros cries. "I… uh.. no I… I can't!"

"Why not?" Tavros fumbles for an excuse. "Dude, it's just fake. And I will be in your debt. Like seriously, I'll do whatever you want if you do this for me." Tavros pauses.

"Well… um… Gamzee sort of asked me. I mean, I haven't said yes or anything."

"What to be your date?" Tavros laughs a bit.

"Yeah, he says he doesn't like to go to parties without a date." You didn't even know Gamzee _said _anything to begin with. You're pretty sure Gamzee does even get invited to most parties. And your pretty sure he's got plans of his own inviting Tavros as his date. Screw Gamzee's plans. This whole party is about Dave's plans, damnit.

"Well, are you going with him?"

"Well, no. Well… I haven't agreed I mean. I mean, I was kinda thinking about going. I mean, just to make him happy or whatever."

"I need your help," Dave pleads. "Ten times more than clown-douche does. Seriously, Tavros. I will be forever in your debt."

"Please Tavros?" Terezi chimes in. "It's Dave's future on the line!" Tavros tugs at the collar of his shirt, then runs his hands through his Mohawk.

"I… alright, I guess."

"Great!" Terezi cries instantly. "Now we have just about everything we need." Dave sighs, thinking about just about how horribly _this _could go wrong.


	24. Chapter 27

**thank you thank you thank you for 100 followers! i would reaaaally appreciate if i could get up to 100 reviews. which would only take 12 more. which means only 12% of you have to review. it'd make my day, so please leave one today! **

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"What exactly is the point of this exercise?" The amount of complaining from the kitchen is making Dave want to empty the bag of corn chips and hold it over Karkat's head. But he refrains, since they are friends. But one more grip out of him and it will probably happen in the friendliest way possible.

"Um... to make a cake?" Terezi scoffs. "I thought that was rather obvious."

"Well, obviously," he sneers. "But why can't we just buy a box cake and call it a day? Like, what kind of Christmas party needs a cake?"

"The kind that's going to impress people." She winks at Dave. "A very certain person who we need more than just box cake to impress. C'mon Karkles, ple-e-ease?" Terezi leans closer to Karkat, grinning, making his ears redden. Dave rolls his eyes and retreats into the living room, where Sollux is focusing on his computer, takking away. He's apparently setting up some music playlist or something.

"Make sure it has lots of that classic Christmas stuff. The others will eat that up," Dave mutters, going over to the stereo and wiring into the speakers hung up on the wall. He and Bro had quite the set-up, but it wasn't like either of them tended to entertain so Dave ends up having to untangle a sea of wires and figure out how to get it plugged in.

He looks up at the clock, and his stomach flips. Only two more hours to go. He can't really see how this going to work. He'd already begged Terezi not to try anything.

"This whole party is to get you two back together!" she protested. "How do you expect me not to try anything?"

"Just... just don't," Dave sighs. "Please." She rolls her eyes and gives the most noncommittal promise Dave has ever heard.

First to arrive is Kanaya and Rose, who offer a cooler of glass-bottled sodas. Dave spends a while chatting with Rose, but she obviously wants to spend time with Kanaya so he disappears back into the kitchen to make sure everything is alright. There's still half an hour left until guests are supposed to start arriving officially. Dave swallows.

"This is going to suck," he mumbles to Terezi, who was haphazardly dumping globs of whipped cream onto a chocolate cake. "This mission is guaranteed to fail." She continues spreading whip cream unceremoniously. Dave doesn't mention the ungodly mess that she's making out of the top of the cake and lets her do her thing.

"It might," she says with a shrug. "But what harm could it possibly do?"

"God knows, Terezi. Maybe he'll fall madly in love with Gamzee or something."

"If he does, then I think you need to start re-evaluating your choice in a man," she says, smirking and setting out her half-frosted, crumb-laden cake. She licks her spatula, sitting down at dining table and working to empty the whip cream bowl. Karkat is shredding open bags and dumping the contents into large bowls, getting crazily OCD about the way the snack table is arranged. Whatever keeps his mouth closed.

Dave lets the subject drop, but he's no less freaked out. He goes into the living room, where Kanaya and Rose are discussing something that sounds really boring. Within thirty seconds, Dave's heard five words he didn't think normal fifteen fifteen-year-olds used in conversation. He paces around, darting between rooms until there's another knock at the door. It's Gamzee. Dave keeps himself from sighing. He was really hoping Tavros would arrive first, because he has no idea how to entertain this freak.

"Hey," Gamzee mumbles. "Tav here yet?" Dave stands aside, letting the other boy in. He realizes he's never heard Gamzee's voice before. It's not exactly that exciting. He sounds like a cross between a jazz singer and drunkard, his low baritone naturally slurred. It's the kind of voice that would make you want to gag the bearer of such a voice immediately.

"Nah, he's not." Gamzee looks Dave up and down, his expression blank. He smirks a bit, and laughs lightly, then shakes his head and goes to greet Kanaya, muttering to himself what is no doubt some sort of insult towards Dave. Dave realizes that he has managed to turn Gamzee into an enemy before ever physically communicating with him simply by stealing his date for his fake-date purposes.

Equius arrives and seems to be trying to engage Gamzee in conversation, who's busy sulking over his phone, undoubtedly about his failure in not being normal enough to impress Tavros. Vriska arrives, and so does John a bit after her. Dave's stilted conversation with the perfume-coated girl is cut short and he gets the door for John, who holds out a small box. "What's this?" Dave asks. John shakes it at him and Dave takes it.

"Your Christmas present. Duh!" Dave takes it and nods.

"Thanks, I'll give you your's later." Dave had gotten John some video game that Sollux said he wanted. He honestly has nothing to say to John. It takes him like an eternity to come up with a decent response online. "Hey, you wanna go meet the others?" John nods. Just as he's about to lead John over to the living room, the doorbell chimes again. "Oh," Dave says, attempting to be lofty. "That must be Tavros." Dave, through Terezi's instruction has dropped Tavros' name somewhere around three thousand times in his conversations with John. Speaking of the synesthesiac, she appears out of nowhere next to you.

"Hello, John! Is that Tavros at the door?" Dave glares at her. Don't try anything, don't try anything. She seems to get the message but whether she's concerned is unreadable. He opens the door and puts on his best chill smirk.

"Hey, man," Dave says. Tavros smiles, somehow having managed to once again get up the three steps to the apartment's first floor.

"Hi Dave, sorry I'm a bit late I-,"

"Mistletoe!" Terezi howls. "Kiss your date, Dave!"

"Wh-what?" Tavros blurts. Dave scowls.

"God, Terezi, lay off." Terezi laughs and gives your shoulder a squeeze.

"Come on, Dave! He's your date, and it's almost Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year!" Dave looks at Tavros. Tavros looks at Dave. And Dave knows that he has to do what must be done to make this fake-date seem convincing. Dave nods almost imperceptibly at the small boy. The boy twitches, but shrugs a little.

"W-well, maybe just on the... cheek? Would that be okay? I mean... i-it's kinda our first date." Tavros, you are a beautiful creature. You are like that angel that springs from nowhere and helps cool guys win back their romantically confused exes. Dave nods.

"That'll have to do." He leans forward and plants a kiss on Tavros' cheek, glancing at John. John watches them, and then turns quickly, his expression blank. Dave straightens up. Terezi laughs, clapping and then giving thumbs up.

Dave scowls, knowing her promise of not doing anything stupid is already voided.


	25. Chapter 28

**thank you to my beautiful moirail for the hundredth review, which read "i have the car. :y thanks sis *one pixel dave smiles at you* **

**also another one of those THOSE chapters. yes THOSE chapters. idek take the THOSE how you want guys **

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Dave doesn't understand how this happened. Well, okay, he understands how. Everyone was chilling, chatting and eating food, y'know, party stuff. Dave's new friends were introducing themselves to their old ones. Dave tried to focus on everyone, though his eyes kept darting back to John, who was chatting with Vriska. And he seemed to be enjoying himself. Dave narrowed his eyes, sighing and rolling his eyes. How was he so friendly that he could actually find things to talk about with _her_. Terezi gave up on trying to force him to treat Tavros "more like a date," and let the kid go scamper off to try to drag Gamzee out of his corner. Equius is also in a corner, but everyone seems content to let the kid sit and hide behind his cell phone.

Then Terezi came sauntering over about an hour in, as _It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas _blared loudly. Karkat trailed behind her, avoiding conversation with any of the people he didn't know as well as possible. "Dave!" She cried. "Let's play Truth or Dare!"  
"No," Dave said. "No way."

"Da-a-a-ave."

"Terezi. There's like zero chance. Have you ever watched MTV? Hearts get broken. Mascara smears." She put her hands on her hips.

"This mission isn't going to succeed if you hover around the snack table all night. I've got this." Dave groaned.

So, the question, he realizes, isn't how. It's why. Why did he agree to this. Why. Why was he sitting on the armchair, surrounded by everyone else who was sitting on various chairs, smiling at each other. John and Vriska chat. Tavros is still working on convincing Gamzee that "it'll be fun." Rose ignores Dave for Kanaya, while they talk about what sounded dangerously like soap opera talk. Like, he's pretty sure he heard "Days of Our Lives," be namedropped. He slumps down in the seat while Sollux turns down the music, and scoots his stool over to the circle, his precious laptop in tow, still connected to the main speaker control.

"Okay!" Terezi cries, plopping down between Dave and Karkat. "Who wants to start?" Rose smiles and raises her hand. And she did not smile in the sweet little girl way. She smiled in that way Rose smiles. like she's about to destroy someone's life with a singular sentence. Which she was very good at, last time Dave checked. "Alright, Rose, you go!" Terezi had made a big point of somehow becoming everyone's best friend within an hour. She'd talked to _everyone_, even the men of the corner, and gotten them all to chat with her. This is not Dave's party. This party has been completely commandeered by the blind girl completely.

"Dave," his name rolls past Rose's lips which are still curled into her death-smile. Oh god damn it. "Truth or dare, my _dear_ friend?" Dave wants to slap her. But he shrugs.

"Let's do dare." She smiles and picks at her nails. "I dare you to… ah! I dare you to invite your brother to the party."

"Rose."

"Dave."

"No."

She sniggers. "Alright, I honestly don't think anyone would enjoy that. Take your sunglasses off. And give them to me." She's obviously expecting him to argue, but having to spend every single weekday in that hell-hole they called a school had makes it easier. He shrugs and takes them off. "Done." She takes them and places them in her lap.

The rest of the game passes by with idiotic dares passed back and forth. It lasts for about twenty minutes or so until Vriska is done chugging an entire two liter of lemon-lime soda. "John," she says. "Truth or dare?"

"Um… dare," he mutters. Obviously he isn't so sure about the safety of selecting truth after the last time he admitted in front of a group of ten kids that he still had a stuffed animal (as asked by Karkat.) She grins.

"I dare you to… kiss anyone in this room! On the lips!" She giggles furiously. John's face reddens as he scans the room, looking terrified. Dave pretends to be very busy tapping his fingers on his leg (which he wouldn't have to do if his damn glasses weren't in Rose's possession.

"I…,"

"It's okay," she says, having another giggle fit. Dave wishes that he hadn't let Kanaya invite her. "You can kiss me." Dave snaps his head up and glares at her, but she's busy smiling flirtatiously at John. John pauses.

And then he pecks her on the lips.

Terezi looks over at Dave, who's busy reclining in his chair, pretending haven't have noticed. Vriska smirks at John, who shifts and sits back down. "Someone should break it to him that he's gay," Terezi mumbles to Dave, in some sort of attempt to cheer him up. Ha. Dave doesn't need to be cheered up. He's great. Like, wow, that was so fake. No big deal. Ha ha. He's going to throw her down the stairs when they get back to school.

"Your turn John!" Dave hardly pays attention to John giving Terezi some lame dare, but he's pretty sure it has to do with mixing the entire contents of the snack table into a cup and then drinking it- which she does without flinching. Everyone cheers for her as she takes a sip. She shrugs, tosses the rest away, and sits back down, crossing her arms.

"Dave," she says. "Truth or dare?"

"Hm?" he mutters. "Oh. Dare."

"I dare you to…," she chuckles. "Kiss whoever you like most in the whole room." It wasn't like he was the only one who'd received the dare besides John. So had Sollux, who'd kissed Terezi on the forehead. So did Equius, who blatantly refused to participate.

"On the lips?" was all Dave could find to say.

"Doesn't matter. Cheek is fine," she says, then mutters without moving her lips to him. "Tavros." He looks over at her. "Do it," she mouths. He stands up, and plops down next to Tavros on the couch. Glaring at Dave he turns to his "date," grabs his face and plants a long kiss on his lips. Tavros squirms, but still doesn't give up the fact that the whole date is a farce. After what Dave considers to be drawn out enough, he pulls back, forcing one of his forced smirks onto his face, then goes back to his seat without a word.


	26. Chapter 29

After a while the game dies out in the way that a game of truth or dare does when everyone in the group is sufficiently embarrassed and ready to kill half of the other parties in the room for subjecting them to torture. Dave avoids eye contact with John. And Tavros. And Gamzee. The group spends more time talking all together before splitting up into groups. Dave sits alone, pretending to be busy texting. Terezi is busy having some sort of passive-aggressive bitch-off with Vriska. Dave can't really make out what they're saying but the smiles and head tilts over there are enough to cause earthquakes. Karkat hovers. As does John. Tavros is still very busy talking to Gamzee, likely trying to keep the boy from killing Dave.

After a moment he notices John's hovering has started significantly closer to him. "Hey," Dave tries. There is enough tension in the air to defy gravity. Well, maybe not. Because if there was Dave would be flying the hell out of there ASAP. John sits down on the chair next to Dave's armchair.

"Hey," he says. Long silence. "So, you never introduced me to your... new boyfriend." Dave turns a bit so that he doesn't have to make eye contact with John. Rose is halfway across the room, glasses shoved in her skirt pocket. He considers running over and grabbing them before continuing the conversation.

"He's uh... not really my boyfriend," Dave says before thinking.

"Oh. I thought he was your date."

"He's my date," Dave says. "Not my boyfriend." Another long silence (which in reality was probably a few seconds long but time is dragging itself army style with three amputations and a broke arm)

"Oh," John says. "Well you just kissed him twice and I kinda..."

"You kissed Vriska," Dave snaps.

"Well, yeah," John retorts. "It was for the dare. Seriously."

"It's not like-," Dave shakes his head. "Forget it." Silence. "I'm gonna go grab myself a drink." He stands up without looking back at John as to prevent the boy from seeing the slightly pinkness dusting his face. He takes his glasses back from Rose without a sound, who doesn't argue with him and goes back to cavort with Kanaya.

He aggressively makes himself a snack. Once he's turned around, glasses in their rightful place, John is gone. He looks around. Terezi is gone. He pauses, then heads to the kitchen. They're not there. After a moment he hears muffled voices. He heads over to the bathroom. He can hear Terezi, and presses against the wall so he can make out what she's saying.

"-eer up. It's supposed to be fun!"

"Yeah," John snaps. "_Fun_." Dave chews his lip, listening intently.

"Are you upset because of Dave taking Tavros?"

"I... I dunno. I just, I didn't imagine he'd move on so fast. I mean... I still really like him I just... ugh, I don't know. I just feel like I'm gonna mess up our friendship and I know we probably wouldn't last forever as boyfriends and I just..." Shit, is he crying? "I just didn't really even think about how I'd get jealous of... I... ugh."

"Well," Terezi responds slowly. "What do you want to do? I mean, I'm sure he still feels very strongly about you."

"I don't know," John mumbles, seeming to have calmed down a bit. "I mean, I'm not really great at being in a relationship and like I said... I'm sure I'll screw it up somehow. But, now I'm kinda starting to feel like I already have anyway. It sucks."

"Hey, it'll be alright," Terezi says. "You guys are good friends. I'm sure it'll fix itself soon enough." The two seem to be done talking. Dave backs away from the bathroom as the door opens. Terezi walks out and smiles falsely.

The night drags on. Dave spends the next couple hours chatting with Terezi, Rose and Kanaya, and eventually Tavros joins them, seeming to have gotten over the potential shock of Dave using him as a jealousy device. John comes back eventually and talks with Karkat. After a while, the guests Dave doesn't know as well leave. It's about ten at night by the time that he's cleaning up with Terezi, Karkat, Rose and John. Sollux is working on the stereo again. And Tavros is sitting and watching. (after you insisted the damn kid keep his ass in his chair and stop trying to help, considering he couldn't even reach half the cabinets.)

John's father comes to pick him up around ten-thirty. Dave sees him to the door. "Bye," John says tersely. "Have fun with Tavros."

"Oh, shut up. If you're allowed to make out with Queen Bitch in my living room, then I'm allowed to kiss my date."

"Make out? No, what you were doing was full-on kissing."

"Yeah. Because he's my _date_. I've known him for a while."

"What are you trying to say?" John snaps. Dave snorts.

"I'm just saying the facts, John."

"God, you're such a douchebag! Merry Christmas too, Dave." John glares and slams the door, leaving the apartment to go to meet his dad. Dave stands bewildered for a minute. As he walks back in Terezi grins.

"I think we've made some prog-,"

"No," Dave snaps. "We haven't. I told you this was a terrible idea." Frowning, Terezi resumes picking up cups. The party is over, and Dave has never been left less satisfied by a social gathering.

* * *

**well shit, son.**


	27. Chapter 30

**we're nearing the end, guys. its actually kinda emotional for me to think about. probably a few more chapters. i'll say it again when we hit our ending. but thank you guys. you've been the best, right since the beginning, new and old readers! you've made my days with your reviews, honestly! and i really hope to see you guys again in my later works**

* * *

**GC: D4V3**

**TG: what**

**GC: W0ULD YOU H4PP3N T0 KN0W WH4T T0D4Y 1S? **

**TG: um january twenty third**

**GC: Y3S TH4T IS TRUE **

**GC: BUT 1T H4S 4LS0 B33N 4N 3NT1RE M0NTH S1NC3 Y0U AND J0HN H4V3 ST4RT3D 4CT1NG L1K3 M1DDL3 SCH00L G1RLS**

**TG: drop it  
TG: i mean seriously its been just about as long as i dated him that he dumped me  
TG: its a lost cause**

**GC: 0H B00H00**

**GC: 1 *T0LD* Y0U TH4T H3 M1SS3S Y0U **

**TG: fuck it terezi**

**TG: i give up**

**TG: i spent two weeks bombing his inbox **

**TG: and your mediation isnt working anymore**

**GC: D4V3 Y0U KN0W KN0W WH4T Y0U S0UND L1K3**

**GC: FR3SHM4N M3**

**GC: 4ND N0W 1 W0RK3D THR0UGH 1T**

**GC: 4LL 1T'LL T4K3 1S Y0U TW0 G3TT1NG 0V3R Y0URS3LV3S**

**TG: yeah youve mentioned that**

**TG: like ten times**

**-turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gallowsCallibrator [GC]- **

**GC: J3SUS Y0U'R3 A B4BY**

Dave plays it off as cool. Though everyone and anyone that knows him knows that he is by no means over John, a month later. Especially with goddamn Terezi insisting constantly that John still wants to be with him. Tell that to the fact that John has ignored his forty-eight pesterchum messages ranging from sarcastic, to just downright pathetic, uncool pleading.

He's resigned to the idea that the entire thing was doomed, even though there's still that one idiotic part of his mind that nags him that it isn't. Thus making him send John more messages. Until two weeks ago, when he finally resigned and stopped bothering the kid. For all he knew, he got a new pesterchum just to avoid Dave's haggling.

He opens the chat screen for John, rereading what he wrote and sighing.

**TG: john**

**TG: you know what**

**TG: im really fucking sorry if i upset you**

**TG: fuck man you know me**

**TG: im a fucking baby**

**TG: im gonna be a baby here**

**TG: well maybe not a baby**

**TG: i aint shitting myself**

**TG: maybe more like a kardashian**

**TG: my mascaras fucking everywhere man**

**TG: i love you okay**

**TG: and excuse me for sounding like a fucking porpoise **

**TG: emotions shooting everywhere outta my blowhole **

**TG: like angsty motherfucking sea mammal pheromones**

**TG: but i cant fucking handle you not talking to me**

**TG: and the whole party was just me having a hissy fit**

**TG: so fuck**

**TG: sorry**

**TG: but youre prolly busy being john**

**TG: so ill just kinda sit here**

**TG: you know **

**TG: i think im more of a beached whale**

**TG: a dead one**

**TG: and youre like the navy and your like shit that things doomed lets push it back into the sea before it fucking smells up this joint**

**TG: and i dont really blame you**

**TG: you prolly arent listening to this**

**TG: cause youre prolly like**

**TG: did he just fucking call himself a dead whale**

**TG: that is really unattractive**

**TG: so**

**TG: ill stop bothering you**

**TG: go back to your john-ing**

Dave drums his fingers on the keyboard, staring at the screen, before slamming the top of his laptop down, sighing. He isn't sure how long passes before Bro calls him. "What?" He responds, not bothering to lift his head from

"C'mere." Dave groans, then stands up and wanders out into the living room. "Check this shit, Dave." Dave sighs and leans over, looking at his computer, where there are some charts that he doesn't take any time to read. "Look at this fucking income, kid."  
Dave blinks. "Income?"

"Yeah, my fucking site, man. Do you see those figures?" Dave sees those figures.

"Holy shit. When did that happen?"

"I have no fucking clue. Profits started increasing last Monday, and shits just going up since." Dave stares at the screen, reading the number again. "Kid, we're set." Dave sits down, nodding.

"Sweet." Bro nods, cracking his knuckles and shutting the laptop.

"So," he says. "How's moving sound, kid?"


	28. Chapter 31

**Sorry guys, I had a block. Hopefully got past it though. Seem to be getting a lot of those for my fics lately!**

* * *

You know, three months ago this would have been the greatest news Dave had ever heard. But now that it's February and not fucking November he's not as sure that he wouldn't rather just sit around after school in the library and help Kanaya do whatever freaky research she was doing for "recreation" that day than move.

But the problem is now centrally located in his old town. And that "problem" finally decided to speak to him. i'm sorry, dave, was all that there was though. And a week after the message had been sent Dave still can't form a response to it. He isn't entirely sure that he should or that he wants too. So the whole John situation is still pretty much awful.

Of course, he'd like to see Terezi and Karkat and maybe even Sollux and all. And yeah, he finally admits to himself, he really wants to see John again. So he agrees to move and here he is, emptying out his room yet again.

Dave stares down at the boxes, and for the hundredth time in the two weeks that have past since Bro said they were moving, his stomach sinks. He tapes up the box and tosses it over with the other ones, and once again finds himself looking at a near-empty room. He huffs, brushing the hair out of his eyes and grabs his laptop, flopping down on his bed. His pesterchum window is flashing so he opens it.

GC: SO TOMORROW'S TH3 D4Y, HUH?

TG: yep

GC: 3XC1T3D?  
TG: sure

GC: OH, CMON 1T'S GONNA B3 GR34T!

GC: 3V3RYON3'S MISSED YOU.

GC: 4ND DON'T 3V3N G1V3 M3 TH3 R3SPONS3 1 KNOW YOU W3R3 GO1NG TO

GC: 3V3N H1M

TG: terezi jfc its not a big deal anymore seriously im fine shut up

GC: WH4T3V3R S33 YOU ON MOND4Y!  
TG: see ya

He closes his laptop defeatedly, and packs it up in it's bag, placing it with the boxes before shutting off the light and slumping down on his bed on his stomach. He stares out the window for a while. Unable to sleep, he flips over onto his back and pulls his phone of his nightstand. A few messages from Karkat, but nothing he's really in the mood to turn into a conversation.

He opens up the chat with John absentmindedly, not really having the heart to reread all the bullshit he'd spewed over the course of the past two months. He frowns and types nonsense absentmindedly. Finally, after much deliberation he ends up sending a message.

TG: its alright

He snorts, looking over his bright red text, the phone indicating that the message had been sent through. Alright. Pssh. He has basically turned into a total idiot trying to make this asshole give a shit about him. And he probably never did, so the sooner he could stop being a moron about his feelings towards John, the better.

He drops his phone on the floor carelessly after waiting a while for a response. John is probably already asleep. Or doesn't care.

Dave grumbles in defeat, tossing over on his stomach and staring at his clock. Tomorrow was going to suck. If Terezi said it was going to be great it was going to suck because that seemed to be the recurring pattern here. She only said things were going to be great when they were about to go wrong and she probably knew to she just didn't tell him and Jesus Christ this sucks this is going to suck and she probably knew it.

He wonders if he should consult Rose, but he's pretty sick of spilling emotions all over his friends like a baby. Tossing. Turning. Staring. Sighing.

Dave reminds himself to stop being such an idiot about this but it's probably only the three-millionth time he's tried over the course of the entire year and it didn't appear to be working so well.

He finally passed out around midnight, and woke up in a haze to the sound of his alarm clock at seven. He sighs and pulls himself up, rolling his shoulders. There's already a moving van in the front of the house. Frowning, he gets dressed.

He remains in his exhausted, unmotivated haze the entirety of the move. It wasn't anything special anymore, just a lot of loading and unloading, then flopping down on the couch in defeat. He looks around the new house. It's an apartment, but it's much larger than any of the ones he's had before. It's on the top floor and overlooks the more commercial side of town, which is about twenty minutes from school. He could take a bus, but he knows he never wants that experience again. It's four in the afternoon by the time that they finish getting most of the boxes unpacked.

Bro orders pizza but Dave ends up falling asleep and not waking up until ten. From there, he watches television until one. School tomorrow, he reminds himself. He groans inwardly and goes into his new room. It's still pretty plain, a stack of six or so boxes in one corner. He throws himself down on his bed, not bothering to check his messages.

Pulling his sheet over himself, he sets his alarm clock and shoves his glasses onto his nightstand. He spends most of the night reminding himself how awful tomorrow is going to be. Three hours of sleep and a pang of nausea later, his alarm clock wakes him up.

And he has never felt any less prepared to go face school than today.


End file.
